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My son had to go to the principals office today

I went to pick up my son at school today and he told me that he had to go to the principals office because a boy in his class had said haha your mom must be dead, since his dad was there to pick him up instead of me. So he went in today and told his teacher and she sent them both to see the principal. The little boy said that he did say these things he also says things about my sons dog that has passed, because he knows that this upsets him. The little boy was very upset about getting in trouble and my son even apologized to him for getting him in trouble. These 2 boys personalities just clash and i have had conversations with the boys mom several times about issues. But my issue is that she works at the school as a teacher and when this was over her son went to his mom upset and my son overheard her say well i don't care what was said u r not in trouble with me. So i called her and discussed the situation and she told me that my son had said the same thing about his grandpa a few days earlier but he didn't go tattle and that this all just got blown out of porportion. I do not believe that it did this has been going on all year between these 2 and it came to a point where my son had enough. Although i am not at school for my son to come to when he has an issue in fact i didn't even know that he had went to the principals office and even though he wasn't the one getting in trouble i would have liked to have been notified. I have told the boys mother that if she has any issues with my son i would like for her to call me and not let this get out of hand and not to come between our friendship but i could tell with her tone that that was not going to happen and that is fine. I know that both of us just want to protect our children, I was just hoping that her being a teacher she would be a little more understanding. I don't know why kids have to be so cruel as to want to hurt 1 another.

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Asked by hollieshobbie at 7:16 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 9 (275 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Sounds like the Mother has an issue too and her son knows as long as his Mother is not making anything of it, he can say anything he wants.

    Until someone pushes up on him and puts him in his place he will always have his mouth opening saying anything and this is not where this should end up going but sadly it may and if not your son, than someone else's child will do it.

    Just because her son did not go tattle does not mean she should not sit down with him and discuss with him how its not nice to say what he said to your son or to anyone else.

    Maybe you can try talking to her again, all of you get together outside of school and have a discussion about what should and should not be said to another according to the situations, cause we want to build friendships, not hurt feelings and be better people not the other way around.


    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:23 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Some people are just idiots. One of my last days on the elementary school playground before hiding in the library I was hit in the face. An older kid deliberately threw a playground ball at my face hard enough to smack my head against the wall behind me and give me a bloody nose right in front of the playground teacher and she claims she never saw it happen.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 7:29 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I have talked to her several times about their personality conflict and we both agreed to talk to each other if things were not going well. It just bothers me that she is a public figure at my sons school and her son can go cry to his mom and yet i don't even know what is going on. My son has also told me that she looks away from him when passing him in the hall and when him and this boy r not getting along he goes to his moms room and she says things in front of my son like don't worry about him u go play with the other kids. I have tried to be cordial an adult about this but i have a feeling it may get ugly because i am not going to let my son go to school and not only be intimidated by a boy in his classs but his mother to. I would think that teachers would have training in these situations.

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 7:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I totally understand what you're going through. Too many teachers turn a blind eye. You try what you feel is right. Maybe talk to the school counselor. You have every right to know exactly what goes on in school. Put it in writting and send it to the counselor, his teacher and if you really strongly about it, the principal too. Well, eventually the boy will age out of that school and go to one where his mommy will not be there to cover for him. Maybe then she will better understand. Good luck.

    Answer by saltycoqui at 7:38 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Well this is a smal county and it is 1 big school connected. :( My son just started seeing the school councelor because his aunt has just been diagnosed with cancer and they r very close, so he has had a hard time dealing with seeing our family so stressed out. so i suggested that he should talk to someone since he won't talk to us about how he feels. I just hate that i can't protect my son from all these hurtful words but as a parent if it was my son saying these things and a parent called me about it, u better believe that he would be in trouble. But she said that my son had said the same thing a few days earlier but she just let it since my son said it it is ok for her son to say it back.

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I think for everyones sanity, the boys should be in separate classes. She is not a 'friend' to you if she thinks its ok for her son to joke about you being dead. This is very creepy. GL mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Nope, I would not be friends with her. You are your sons voice and I would trust what he has to say over hers any day. I know what it is like to be a parent a small close knit school and you have to have bounderies. The teacher is crossing them by ignoring what is going on and making your son feel like crap. Get mad Mama, you can be level headed about it but stand your ground. Send it up the chain starting with the counsilor and principal. We can work WITH our teachers BUT we don't let them treat our children imroperly either. Good luck to you

    Answer by pnwmom at 9:01 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Thanks mommas, i just feel so bad that my son has to go to school everyday and not only worry about what a child says to him but also having to feel hated by another teacher. He had her as a teacher 2 years ago and loved her. I was just hoping that we could work this out as parents and understand that neither 1 of our kids r perfect and they don't have to be best friends but i would like them to be civil to one another because they still have many more years together.

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 9:12 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Sounds like these boys need to learn that "sticks and stones can break your bones but words can't hurt you"
    Words like that - petty child crap - can only hurt if he lets them
    Both those boys need to grow some thinker skin and toughen up a bit - IMO any ways.


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • IMO Anonymous, my son has taken alot from this kid and let it go, but sometimes 1 can only take so much before they resort to taking it to another level. Our children should not have to go to school and worry about what other children r going to do or say to them. everybody has feeling and yes it hurts sometimes but then there r times when parents or school officials need to step in and put a stop to it. These kind of things happen all to often at many schools and i believe that they need to focus more on bullying these days because sometimes these things get out of hand.

    Comment by hollieshobbie (original poster) at 10:18 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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