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Should i spank my kid?

my son saw a phone he liked and lost it.he threw a big fit and it was in public. i grounded him,took away his D.S. and took away a years allowance. every time though he just yells mommy i hate you and uses foul language.now hes "run away."he just leaves me and in an hour after scaring me half to death he returns and then does it again.What do i do?????:(

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:24 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (12)
  • A years allowance? Ha ha! Wow...
    khf22

    Answer by khf22 at 7:26 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Nothing is given to us in life, we have to earn it.


    If he really wants, needs, gotta have that phone, You can set up a way so he can EARN the phone.


    Not getting angry, no foul language, no hateful words is a way to start him on the way to earning his phone.


     

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 7:27 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If your child is old enough for a DS and an allowance he's too old to be spanking. I think spanking should be reserved for moments of danger like pulling two fighting siblings apart who are hurting each other or a child running into the street.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 7:29 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • You might want to start with a list of house rules that must be followed. Be consistent and stay calm. He needs to earn his privileges and know you are to be respected.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • No don't spank him. That would just be silly and it's not effective. I also don't think grounding him from a year's allowance will teach him anything either.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:32 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • We can answer your other question about what to do if you tell us his age.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I think he sounds too old to spank. Maybe not, but if he is getting an allowance and has a phone, he is probably too old. Then again, people are giving their kids these things waaaaayyyy early, so I have no idea. Sounds more like you need to sit him down and talk to him. Explain to him that his actions have consequences and make them realistic. Maybe instead of not giving him his allowance for a year, you should tell him his allowance will be taken to pay for the phone he lost. And when the phone is paid off he can get his allowance again? And also, tell him it scares you when he "runs away," reiterate how much you love him and that there is nothing good for a young boy running away.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 7:38 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Never spank your kids :(
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 7:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • It is always best to try and remain calm and to refrain from spanking. It will only have a long-term effect of showing your kids how to hit and yell.
    I would drop the consequences for now, and work on a reward system. Make him earn his allowance, time with friends, and gaming time through good behavior. He get's one star on the chart for a good day, and random stars when you catch him being extra-specially good.
    He sounds like he is at a good age for lecture. You can, by the way, use "tallking about it ALOT" as a punishment. :) It is actually pretty effective. They will think twice again before pulling something because they don't want to listen to you for an hour discussing life goals and desired behavior.
    It is so hard to be a parent sometimes . . . hang in there.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:50 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Also, with the running away thing . . . that is a safety issue . . . you might consider getting him to a counselor . . . a few sessions couold help with some safety boundaries.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 7:54 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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