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How can i teach my 11 year old daughter to be respectfull?

My daughter just turned 11 and she is failing grade 6, she is rude to everybody, her attitue is so bad, I have been meeting with her teachers forever, but she just dosen't seem to care, aslo she says she does great even though you are loking at failed report card. She goes to councelling already. I find it so hard because she is so rude to me and scarcasms and all that. I took toys out of her room, she has been grounded from birthday parties, but i don't want to make home terrible you know. Anyways she is not allowed on the computer and we don't have cable, we watch movie on friday nights s i don't know how to motivate her

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Asked by telina99 at 8:19 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (65 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • You have to separate problem. You need help helping her being successful in school, and you need help to learn how to discipline your child.. Sarcasm is happening because you didn't shut it down when it first started. All tweens and teens will try is your job to let them know that it WILL NOT be tolerated, ever. There will always be a consequence for it. Once you set the rules down you have to be consistant in folowing through every single time. Does it wear you down? You bet it does..but that's just how it is. The alternative is a mouthy, out of control kid. The older they get the worse it will get. You have to shut it down now. Home life doesn't have to be miserable. She CHOOSES for it to be miserable if she doesn't follow the rules. Were her grades fine and then suddenly the bottom fell out? What changes have occered in the last 6 months? Is it all puberty or new baby, move, death of a loved one, abuse of some kind?

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If there are unlying issues they change everything. They have to be dealt with first. Good Luck.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I'd read the book called Reviving Ophelia. It's hormonal. Don't punish her for being a normal child. Guide her through this rough time. She probably doesn't even realize she's doing it. Correct her when she does something you don't like. I used to ask my children "are you sure you want to talk to me that way?" It gave them the opportunity to realize what they did and to rephrase. This isn't an easy time for her.

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:31 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Ugh..sorry about the tpos. I get too focused on what I want to say and forget to proffread before I hit send.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • she was an only child 4 10 years of her life and shes celaic i have to watch that when she eats gluten their are behavioral reactions, but yes 11 years old is critical age

    Comment by telina99 (original poster) at 9:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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