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Single Motherhood Still Taboo?

Today- on my commute home from work, I was catching up on my Twitter feed when I came across this article posted by the Huffington Post: Single Mothers Get Little Sympathy in New Poll. (Link at the end)

Immediately I was intrigued, being a single mom and all. So I read it and one quote stuck out at me the most : "As a group, the Skeptics feel unmarried or gay couples raising children do not make much of a difference on society, yet they overwhelmingly believe single mothers are harmful to society." 

My mouth dropped after reading that- "overwhelmingly... harmful to society" ?!?! WHAT!? 

So moms, single or not, what are your views on single moms? Are they really that harmful to society? What about single dads? Or even- Fathers of the children of Single moms- who choose not to be involved, a.k.a. DBD? Let's hear it mamas!

Answer Question

Asked by kcn333 at 8:35 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • I am not a single mom, but have great respect for single moms, whatever their situation. I think they have to work twice as hard to get half as far ahead.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 8:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I do not think single mothers are harful to socity rude gay guys eh? Anyways like its usally a womans first choice to raise a bunch of kids on her own, working going to school, taking kids to all activities than cleaning and cooking at home. sounds super lucrative. I am a single mother, I go to University, have 2 kids and 1 on the way. I have a BF but I don't think hes contributing enough, so i'm a single parent he lives out of town

    I feel a stigma in my daughters school, other parents, married parents who are in a different social class than me i suppose.

    Answer by telina99 at 8:42 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • How are we harmful to society?

    Because we can teach woman that find themselves in this situation that we can be strong and successful WITHOUT a partner to help us?

    Most of these polls only look at the teen moms that are abusive and neglective to their children. NOt the mothers who work their A$$es off to better themselves for their family.

    I have two boys..I've been a single mom since was 17..I go to school part time and work full..idk how im being harmful. My sons dont need a man in there life to help raise them. I do believe a strong male role model is important however. I can parent and raise two healthy boys on my own.

    Answer by SweetPoison at 9:08 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I don't get how they are harmful to society. My Mom raised 2 children on her own and did a great job with the resources that she had. We are both hardworking individuals and are both decent human beings. I applaud woman who can raise a child on their own. BTW my SO was also raised by a single mother. Though we are together I think that we are doing just as great of a job with our DD just as our mothers did with us. We both grew up with strong male role models that helped show and guide us in the directions that we needed to go in. So if single mothers are a detriment to society please show me where. I have yet to see it in person.

    Answer by coala at 9:22 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Well..considering woman are no longer putting up with abusive or cheating spouses makes a difference. That is why I was a single mom

    Answer by jujubean1979200 at 9:32 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • There are so many reasons a mom became a single mom- the relationship or marriage didnt work, the spouse or SO died, etc. Making such a broad sweeping & insulting statement does nothing but undermine the efforts made by hardworking moms whose blood sweat & tears support their families. Not to mention what those ugly comments can do to their children. I dismiss it as pure trash whose only purpose in uttering it was to incense those who were unfortunate enough to hear it.


    Answer by mrsmom110 at 9:43 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If you read the actual post, the question asked in the poll was "do you think that a single mom having a child without a male partner to help raise them is good or bad for society" So it's women who intentionally got pregnant without a committed male partner. Personally, I think the breakdown of the family is a huge societal problem, and that would include women who choose to get pregnant without the context of a "family"
    I was a single mother, but not be intent - I was married for 12 years during which I had 3 kids. I don't think that single mothers are harmful to society, but that's just the way they phrased it to get attention, not what the actual poll said.

    Other categories were: same sex couples raising children, unmarried couples having children together, more young mothers working outside the home, etc.

    Answer by missanc at 10:00 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • missanc- I did read the actual post, thank you. I do agree  that article was phrased that way to get attention. The Poll research showed that "Americans were least forgiving of the rise in mothers raising children without a male partner to help them."  I think you'll find that many women don't "intentionally" get pregnant "without a committed male partner" like you mentioned above.  However, as I respect your comments, they also open the debate up a little more. Every single mom has her own story- which would be impossible for a poll like this to present to people taking it. Does your definition of " the breakdown of the family" include women who didn't choose to get pregnant? What about women who thought that their child would be born into a "family" in a traditional sense- only to find that their "partner" changed their mind?  


    Comment by kcn333 (original poster) at 10:39 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Part 2- (Sorry! ha!) In my case, I got pregnant- told the guy, who at first was so excited and started planning everything with me. I thought he would be involved and we would have a family- only to find a month before my son was born that he wanted nothing to do with him. Yes, I chose to have my son, knowing that his father no longer wanted anything to do with him. Does that make my decision part of your opinion of the "breakdown of a family"? And therefore resulting in your idea of a "huge societal problem"?

    Comment by kcn333 (original poster) at 10:40 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Part 3- (Really sorry- haha!)
    Personally, I think the term "family" is changing everyday, and "non- traditional families" are becoming more and more present in Society-as shown through the popular TV show Modern Family. The definition of a "traditional family" should really depend on the persons situation. My son was born into an amazing family. His Father may not be involved- but he has a Grandpa and 2 uncles that can provide him with positive male support that I believe is important for little boys.
    I think the most important thing someone can get out of my post and this article is that times are changing and that everyone should try and be accepting of other people's situations!

    Comment by kcn333 (original poster) at 10:41 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

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