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7 Bumps

Anyone dealing with fetal development problems?

I'm 20 weeks preganat and Just found out via ultra sound that baby has many problems. Baby may miscarry, die shortly after birth or have a lot of problems living...what do you say to well meaning people asking how the baby is doing?

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Asked by anomaly726 at 11:17 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 2 (8 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Omg I'm sorry to hear that. If it was me I would just be honest keep it short and change the subject. Bad as you wanna lie and say babys doing fine I wouldn't theres no need in lying to yourself, its just gonna make you feel worst than you already do. And if they feel your pain they won't press for answers until you say your ready to talk about it. I wish you the best:-) be strong.

    Answer by Unique11 at 11:32 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Can I ask you what the issue are? I'm so sorry. My youngest DD(11 months) gave us a scare of a lifetime when we found Choroid Plexus Cysts on her brain at 18 weeks. They are a marker for downs syndrom and/or trisomy 18. More times than not the cysts go away on their own before birth, causing no harm. And the others don't usually make it. We are part of the lucky group and we are so happy to have our babygirl here today. Still, hearing the new was heartbreaking as ever. All I had were negative thoughts and I was convinced I'd lose our baby. I know how you feel, and I truly am sorry.
    I would be honest with people. "The baby has some health issues and we are praying everyday for it's strength." Don't lose faith in your baby!

    Answer by mommacierra at 11:36 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • I'd say we found out the baby has some issues but we are trying to work through this news as a family and we'd appreciate your silence until we have done so.

    Answer by Acid at 10:00 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would just say the baby has some problems but you would rather not talk about it just would like to ask everyone for their prayers. I hope things get better and you end up having a healthy baby and I will say lots of prayers for you!!

    Answer by michellesgirls2 at 11:29 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • My good friend had fetal development problems when she was preg with her first daughter. They told her the same things. Her daughter is now 3yrs old, but had to have 2 heart surgeries. She prayed every day and had many ppl praying for her. I sincerely hope all goes well for you. I am sorry you are going throught such a difficult time when it is supposed to be such a happy time. I would let ppl know that the doctors may have some concerns with the DV of the baby and that they are keeping tabs on things..,,,if you even want to say anything at all. You could also just tell ppl that you are going to your regular check-ups and end it there. If i may, i would like to pray for you and the baby.

    Answer by team21 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • My prayers are with you honey. I am 23 weeks pregnant. While, my baby is developing normally in many aspects (organs, etc). They told us at the 20 wk ultrasound that he was extremely small (4th percentile). So, they did another ultrasound at 22 weeks, he is gaining some weight, but losing ground too (2nd percentile at 22 wks). The specialist told us that day, that I can expect to probably be hospitalized at 24 weeks, and they could have to deliver him as early as 28 weeks. So, while our babies don't have exactly the same problems, I definitely feel & understand your pain. I have spent the last several days researching NICU units (thank god there are 3 great ones within an hour of my house), and looking at NICU & preemie clothes. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to email me.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 1:04 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Oh! And what I tell people is this, there are some developmental problems, but we are not sure exactly what they will mean yet. If they want something they can do for us, I tell them they can pray for us, and keep us in their thoughts. I know they mean well, but honestly no one short of the doctor can even begin to lay aside my fears right now.

    Answer by mommy11260 at 1:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I'm so sorry to hear this!! I'd just tell people that the baby is having some problems and you don't really want to discuss it.

    I'll be thinking and praying for you!! I hope things work out for you and your baby.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 1:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • awwww omg. I dont know what to say but they could be wrong get a second oppinion and many times babys are born and live on just fine. Miracles happen every day! Im so sorry for your news and wish you the best of luck!!

    Answer by Destins_Mommy at 4:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I'm really sorry :( Thoughts and prayers go out to you and your LO.

    Answer by shanapiv at 9:18 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

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