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4 Bumps

My boyfriend was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, will our life ever get better?

He stated to act weird a while back and I got him to go to a dr. and they diagnosed him and started him on medications. At first there was improvement but now I can tell he is getting much worse. He doesn't see it of course so he is telling the Dr. everything is fine.
I am so sad and confused about life with him now. I love him so much but he has become so mean. I know he has a illness but it is still hard to live with. He is not even like the same person anymore. He is not taking care of himself very well and is staying up all night in a total state of mania.
Will he ever be back to the way he was? Any tips on how to deal with this? I could use any advise. I am worried that we will never have a normal life together again.
We do agree that his diagnosis was correct he is going to one of the best Dr. in the country that specializes in this type of thing. So I don't believe a wrong diagnosis is causing anything.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • No, it is likely that you will not have a normal life.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:54 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • It really comes down to wether or not you can deal with it. I understand you love him but he is not the same person you met, and has special issues. If you are sad and unhappy all the time them you need to do what is best for you. You can still love him but you must take care of you.

    Answer by sondaughter312 at 11:54 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • If he is willing to put in the effort to talking to someone and keeps on the medications yes it will probably get better but it will always be there. He will need to do the work though. If he blows it off it may be Jeckyl and Hyde and you shouldn't have to put up with that.

    If hes become mean and getting worse he needs to switch up his meds with his dr. It sounds like hes not shooting straight with his dr so he can't possibly get the help he needs.

    However if he isnt taking the personality and mood changes seriously and obviously its at your expense you may need to put yourself first and cool it for a while to back away from the situation before deciding if you can move on with him or are going to cut your losses. It would NOT be selfish of you to do so.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 11:56 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • probly there will be better times and worse times that come and go , its a hard road.

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:57 PM on Feb. 17, 2011

  • Read the book Stop Walking on Eggshells.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I have relatives that are bipolar and they had to be put on different meds till they found the right one. You need to go to the dr with him and tell the dr yourself what is going on because a persone with bipolar does not see it. They will have what we call a roller coster days and nights. It is called the manic phase. One day up and down the next. It can be controled and you can have a normal life but in order for you to do that he needs the right meds. GL I know how you feel I have delt with it.

    Answer by ready4baby2011 at 12:14 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • It will not change, but that doesn't mean you can't make it work. It'll just be tough.

    Answer by SandyHack at 12:15 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • "No, it is likely that you will not have a normal life. "
    I take extreme offense at that. Its not fair nor is it right. Besides whio can really define "normal?" I have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder 5 or so yrs ago. While it is up to the person whoi has BP to take meds, and to be straight with the doctor about the thoughts and feeling, side effects what or what not, but a couple can and WILL have a 'normal' relationship. Being diagnosed with BP is difficult and it takes time to get the right combo of meds before uy find the right one. Only lately, the last 7 or so months, I have been to find a good combo that seems to be working. I am taking lamictal, and BuSpar. BP is still being regarded as a stigma, so its hard. How long ago was he diagnosed? Some meds can take him straight into a manic state. He needs a good mood stablizer. Anon, PM me if u want more advice on what do/expect. Also have sites that can help u.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Your lives will never be normal. He has a mental condition, and you have to treat it like it's a mental condition. There are going to be good days and bad days but do keep in mind it can take months of trying out drugs to find what is right for him.

    I do suggest joining a bipolar support group. GL

    Answer by Razelda at 12:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Do u know what "level" of BP he has? I have BP 2, which is the lesser form of BP 1 and not nearly as severe. Alot of stress can set off a manic state, lack of sleep. When someone is in a manic state, their thoughts, feelings, emotions are running by the speed of sound. If he is not being straight with the doc, u need to step up and tell your SO, when he is in a normal mood what u feel like. Don't get confrontational, and if starts getting wound up, go for a ride or a walk. While its not and excuse in anyway, most who are manic doesn't realize right off how they are coming across to their loved ones, and u can't talk sense o them either, especially if its a bad one. When they get 'low' would be a good time to talk and u have a better chance of being listened to. Here is a website then go to th menu bar go to healthy living and scroll down and go to mental heath communties, and click on bipolar communties.

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:34 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

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