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I don't know how to deal with not having another baby

I just watched One Born Every Minute and as soon as the lady had her baby I broke out into tears. Not just aw, that is beautiful tears but sad tears! My husband and I have 1 son who is 4y 4m and when I was pg I was totally against having more kids and my husband wanted more. Then within days of having my son, well maybe more like weeks, we had both changed our minds. I decided I wanted more and he decided he didn't. Now over 4 years later we can still never agree. It seems like we both go through periods where we want and don't want another baby and it is never the same. One of us will want one and the other doesn't. We can never agree! It hasn't really caused problems, but I just can't believe that at 20 I had my son and will never have another baby! I have a selfish way of thinking about things I guess. I didn't want to have kids past 25 because I wanted them out of my house (or able to take care of themselves at least) but the time I was 40. I had kids young and I want to have a life after kids, still young enough to travel and do everything my husband and I want to do. How do I cope with the fact that I will never have another baby? I know I am the only one who can make this better for me, but it really made me soooo sad!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:53 PM on Feb. 17, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • CAN still have another. You CAN break your OWN rules, ya know! I'm selfish because I don't want to get fat again (it's much more than that, I'm high risk and pregnancy was awful). Also, if we have another child, we won't be able to give as much to our daughter. This doesn't mean that it's set in stone that I won't have another child. I would never have an abortion, so if I somehow became pregnant (unlikely--IUD), I would have another baby. It also doesn't mean that 6 months from now, we won't decide to have that IUD removed. I think trying to deal with the end of an idea that is not over is silly.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 12:26 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • What did you mean by," we won't decide to have that IUD removed." It's your body, you decide.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:24 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I think what she means, not to overstep bounds here, BridgetC please correct me if I am wrong is, she and her husband would decide together to remove it to try for another child. It is a decision that should be made together. And I know I can change my mind, but I am pretty set in our ways at this point. Again selfishly, our son is given everything and more he needs, he has a college fund set up (again he is 4) that already has $4000+ in it, we wouldn't be able to do this if we had another. I guess I was just really emotional when I wrote this. It isn't that I am pining to have another child now, I am just sad when I see babies and don't see one of my own in the future.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • It sound like logically you have made the choice, emotionally you are still torn. I have one solution for you Grandchildren! If your child is out by 40 you can have grandkids by your early 50's:-)

    Answer by hotelmom123 at 3:30 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

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