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Has your husband not cut the apron strings yet?

I've been with my fiance forever, and neither of us were that big on our families (our parents and siblings, etc.). But now that he has moved away from Mommy and Daddy's house (he's 27 now), he realizes how much he misses them and is telling me that he needs to see his parents twice a month. Well, I don't want to live in the area that our parents live in...I get extra depressed in the cold and dark winters. I feel that he is choosing his Mommy over me--those of you who married men like this, should I leave before tying the knot? He doesn't seem to understand that people grow up, leave their families, and form their own. I told fiance his mom already has a husband--his father. What do I do?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • UGH!! I feel ya hun! I was married to a Mama's boy and he hadn't cut the umbilical cord yet, much less the apron stings!! Good luck!
    Babylove76

    Answer by Babylove76 at 3:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I was fortunate..mine not only cut the string he tossed the apron out the window. If it really is an issue for you think long and hard now. It is better to walk away than to make a bad marriage. Despite what some think. Love does NOT conquer all. It goes a long way in what we put up with but you have to have a bottom line. Figure out where yours is and refuse to dip below it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 4:09 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • well...see mine isnt exactly the same...mommy just can NOT let DH cut the strings...she freaks...and he hates fights...so he just keeps hanging on so she wont start anything. We were able to get the strings cut and completely severed for 2 years..It was amazing. We NEVER fought, everything was wonderful. Then MIL got into a bad car accident adn I made the mistake of making DH go see her...now it feels like we are being suffocated by the strings and are fighting more now than ever
    trentntats

    Answer by trentntats at 4:21 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Ok,maybe I am confused. You are upset with your finacee, because he wants to see his Mom 2x's a month.maybe he is close to his parents and we only live once, you know. you should count your lucky stars that he does care for them. It would show you how he would care for you.Maybe HE needs to rethink this.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I would have to disagree with all of the previous women. You call his mother Mommy in such a demeaning way. He isn't choosing one of you over the other. He is trying to have a life with you that includes his parents. why must he choose. You dont say his parents are controlling or mean to you or anything other than you don't like the weather. If family is important to him why can't you compromise and move somewhere within reach of him being able to connect with his parents when he can. My other thought about that is that sometimes men who are close to their parents in a healthy way also know how to build their own close families with you. THe only thing worse than a controlling mother is a controlling wife. If you have kids lets hope they grow up and can love their spouses and their mother too. It doesn't have to be one or the other.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:39 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Just because he wants to be close to his family you want to run in the other direction? Sorry but that makes no sense to me. We go see my family every weekend. I see no problem with this.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 5:25 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I wouldn't say you need to leave, but you definately need to work out MIL issues before getting married. I'm sure there's a lot more history that would leave you feeling this way, but this is a pretty big issue. You and DH need to be on the same page where your families are concerned, one or both of you will have to compromise in order to keep a healthy relationship.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Wow, I think you are being VERY selfish! Shame on you for your jealousy... When you have children, I would hope you would want them to be close to you! anon 431 is right He should rethink your relationship now before it is to late with a selfish person like you!.....Again SHAME ON YOU!
    getyoung

    Answer by getyoung at 7:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

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