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Is it possible that he's just afraid of rejection? (long...please advise)

I am 36, the guy I'm interested in is 37. I met him at church. There have been obvious signs that he's interested. Last weekend, my friend (a mutual friend) cornered him and told him that "Shannon (me) is looking for someone to have lunch with. She also did the same thing with me, saying that "Jason is looking for someone to have lunch with". The problem is that she didn't tell either of us that she told the other. She said that he smiled and then he called me right after that asking if I was at the lunch destination that our friend had suggested. We met there (I had my two kids (5&7) with me) and we had good conversation and were there for close to 2 hours. I thought he would call, but he hasn't. I'm wondering if he hasn't called because he's not actually the one who asked me out in the first place. He does seem to be shy and I'm wondering if he's just worried about getting rejected. I know that he doesn't date often at all, but that he was interested in me...our friend even noticed it. What is going on here? I just don't buy that he's not interested.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Give him a call and suggest a casual get together of some sort. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. (Your friend needs to stay out of it now) GL!!

    Answer by elizabr at 9:22 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • so maybe you should call him and ask him out for coffee, if might just be buzy?

    Answer by cara124 at 9:23 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • He sounds like he may just be shy. I would try again even if it is just meeting up an already arranged church activity or sitting together at service. Perhaps invite him to breakfast after and you can discuss the sermon?

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 9:24 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I also know that he grew up in foster homes which I think may lead to being shy/afraid of rejection.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:40 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • How long inbetween now and the lunch thing? Give him a call.... women call men now a days.
    Several reasons why he may not have called - lost number, shy, busy, embarrassed (because he figured out what was going on), stupid (men are sometimes).

    Now go make that call!

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:42 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would reach out to him. Like you said, he may be shy.

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 9:43 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • If you like him, invite him over for a meal. Or lunch with just the two of you in a little restaurant.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:45 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • We went out Sunday after church, so it's been several days. He sat in the row in front of me in church (he's actually gotten a little closer each Sunday...was sitting 3 rows in front of me, then 2 and now the row in front of, talked to me and we said goodbye when service was over. I met my friend out in the parking lot and that's when she told me he was looking for someone to have lunch with. He showed up at the restaurant before we did and was waiting for us. So I know he was interested...he makes glances my way, sits closer to me each Sunday, makes his way to talk to me...etc..

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:57 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • He sounds like he just needs an extra nudge and might not even know for sure if you are interested in him. He sounds like a sweet guy!

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 10:07 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Be patient .let him do all the work dear.

    Answer by grismelda at 12:35 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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