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4 Bumps

After intense drilling for one month my husband confessed he cheated , what should i do?

i have 2 small kids and we have been married for 12 years. I receive a letter address to him from the women asking him to leave her alone. I question him and he denied knowing anyone with that name, I checked his phone record and saw on new years morning he called someone with the same name (I was out of town with the kids, his flt was cancel because of the snow storm). I made friends with her online as a different person and discovered thru our conversation she is a "loose" person, she taught I was a man and offer to meet me for sex within 48hours of knowing me. what should I do? forgive or move out?
I question her about her past relationship and she spilled everything about him and even where he took her for sex..and that he never gave her anything. He said he made a bad mistake and ask for forgiveness and for us to work on our marriage. PLEASE HELP...I AM TRULY TRULY CONFUSED, AND DEPRESSED...I HAVE DONE ALL THE CRYING I CAN FOR A LIFETIME. 

Answer Question

Asked by cheatedon408 at 9:24 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (28 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • It is honestly your decision to make.

    Answer by zebbiebug at 9:27 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Hmmmmm...........knowing me I would be pissed!!!!! She sounds like a real winner and to think my husband would do that would make the devil come out, I believe once a cheater always a cheater but that's me, They say some can change but I believe ones that cannot even face the truth do not, if he has lied to you about this what else has he lied about? That's a tough question but something you have to decide no one can tell you what you should do we don't live in your shoes. You have to be the one to live with him and if you think he will confess and you can forgive him then I have to admit you are a better person then me.

    Answer by buttonlts at 9:28 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Meeting in 48 hours doesn't make a loose person. It all sounds suspicious to me- a letter to him asking him to leave her alone? Something she must have known that his wife would see? Get counseling and see if you can save the marriage.

    Answer by Bmat at 9:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I agree with zebbiebug, you should be asking yourself those questions. I hope everything works out the way you want it to. GL

    Answer by babygirl0782 at 9:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Decide what your willing to live with. You can repair your marriage, just not alone.

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 9:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • It depends on how you still feel about him. Yes you are going to be angry but do you still love him and do you still want to make it work? Do you think he will change? You have a very hard decision in front of you and I wish you the best of luck.

    Answer by aheuszel at 9:30 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I know what I'd do - but its not about ME.... this is YOU and YOUR relationship. You need to ask yourself some hard questions and be honest with yourself in those answers.

    Good Luck

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:32 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would ride it out for awhile until both your and his emotions settle down a bit. If it's possible, and if you're both willing, seek family counseling. Being cheated on is depressing, demeaning, and makes you feel downright miserable. I feel your pain. However, keep in mind that if he is a truly good person who made a mistake that he regrets, he probably feels just as miserable right now. Hopefully it will work out, but you'll always have trust issues after this. Good luck, and sorry you're going through this!

    Answer by LogansMom831 at 9:32 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • First of all, I am SO sorry that you have to go through this and your children. When you say that she told you he never gave her anything, are you talking materialistic things? Has your husband openly admitte and that he cheated with this woman, or is the woman the only one confessing? If it is just the woman, and your husband has not admitted anything, I would try talking to him, not ACCUSING him, talking to him. If he has confessed, then you and him have some talking to do. It might help to know why he felt he had to cheat, and if it has happened more than once. Then you have to evaluate if you can forgive him. If you can't, and stay together, things will just get worse. You need to decide if you can forgive and forget, or if you just have to let go. Cheating is hard thing to go through, maybe counseling is the best option to get everything out on the table. I hope everything works out for the best for you and your kids!!

    Answer by ajfoster88 at 9:32 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • i am so sorry for you!!!!, only you can make the decision,,, but you have kids, so put them first and be tough and brave!, will you ever be able to trust him again???

    Answer by gardenchic at 9:33 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

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