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Can you really cut ties forever with negative people in your life?

I've been thinking about cutting ties with my entire family and I feel so guilty about cutting ties with one person in particular, my mom. I know that in order to move on with my life, I have to put my happiness first, but I feel so bad about my decision to inform her that our relationship is over. How can I get the courage to do it?

Has anyone on here cut ties with family, if so, how did you cope?

 
cocobrown28

Asked by cocobrown28 at 10:27 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,128 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • i am doing the same with my mother and my sister right now. i just plain stopped talking to them. i live in another state which makes it easier but i changed my phone number and it is unpublished so i dont have her calling me and i closed out my facebook acct. they are just extremely toxic and have tried on more than one occation to start fights between me and my husband and cause us a divorce. i still dont understand why. but they are very negative people and its not healthy for my kids or my family or even me and has caused me alot of depression. in the past after a while i forgave and thought things had changed but in the end they never did and after a while the colors would show again. im sorry i know its painful and hard to do but you have to do what is healthy for you and your family.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 10:48 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I had to cut my mother out of my life for a few years... she is now my best friend. Do what you feel is right
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 10:29 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • No it isnt really possible to cut ties with someone like your mother. However, you can learn how to emotionally detach yourself from her and your family so they dont affect your life. People can have no effect on you or your life unless you give them the power to do that. You can walk away from them for a bit and then deal with them once you have had some time off basically from them. My mom is pretty toxic sometimes and it took years, but I learned how to only tell her things on a need to know basis, how to say oh I have to go when she started drama, and how to hang up or walk away when she started acting in a toxic way.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:31 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This makes me so sad, hugs to you
    older

    Answer by older at 10:37 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I have cut all ties with my sister, it's one of the best things I've ever done. I don't need or want her negative energy.
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 10:43 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I moved to another state and my mom followed me. I have tried to understanding and forgiving of her, but she chooses to not change her ways and I've had enough of her. I need to move on with my life so that I can forget the pain of my past, but as long as she is around I can't have peace.
    cocobrown28

    Comment by cocobrown28 (original poster) at 10:34 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Thanks, older.
    cocobrown28

    Comment by cocobrown28 (original poster) at 10:37 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I feel like that about my whole family because most of them are negative and I want to be a more positive person and change my negative habits.
    cocobrown28

    Comment by cocobrown28 (original poster) at 10:47 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Laura970, thank you for telling me about your story. I really need some encouragement so that I can be strong when it comes time to tell her that I don't want to have a relationship with her anymore. The thing that offends me the most is that she was a horrible mom, and we, as her 7 kids, have totally overlooked the fact that she has put her men above us, kept us dirty, and I grew up uneducated, have helped her throughout her lifes and she has the audacity to not show that much interest in my daughter who adores her. I've spoken to her about how she ignores my dauther several times, but she hasn't changed at all. It's on thing to ignore me as a child, but she crossed the line when she continued to act as though it's a burden to play with her own grandchild.
    cocobrown28

    Comment by cocobrown28 (original poster) at 10:54 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Well I have to say that my mother was beyond toxic to me. I didn't talk to her for a long time. But I had finally decided one Christmas to be done with my hatred toward her. I knew I'd set boundaries with her but I sent her a card for Christmas and told her I loved her. On January 6th I got a call that she had died in a car accident. I was so glad I had told her I loved her. Otherwise my last communication with her would have been me telling her I didn't want her in my life. Your mom is your mom. Just set boundaries with her but I don't think you can cut a mom out of your life forever. For all her flaws she's still your mom.
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 18, 2011