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My husband is getting a large bonus, thank the lord! Question on how to approach him about this!

My husband is getting a large bonus, I am in sales and my income is 2/3 less than 2 years ago, we have been living hand to mouth, he informed me that because this was HIS money HE would determine how to spend it. I used to be the major bread winner, but now feel like I have no power, his list is as follows
New TV
New Carpet
New BBQ grill
now I am not opposed to using the money for a couple of new things, but honestly I want to save the majority of it in case of emergency. I also want to use some of it to get our trees trimmed, pay our auto and home insurance for the full year, and next year's property taxes, so I don't feel like I am scraping it up all the time,, I don't want to have a fight about it, but I am afraid if I don't approach this in the right way WW 3 is gong to break out! Thanks!


Asked by kimigogo at 10:53 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I'd say I like your list (validating his materialistic list) then I'd say "but did you ever consider (put in your suggestions) to make life easier on us?" I like doing that. It plants a seed. Don't be upset when he comes back using YOUR idea and making it sound like his. Men do that a lot but I let it go as long as I get what I want! lol

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:56 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • To me the fact that he doesnt think of your money as both of yours is an issue in your marraige that needs to be worked on. In a marraige everything should be shared equally and decisions should be made equally. What you describe is a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Hhhmmm that is tough one, not sure how to work it exactly, but ask him if he woudl be willing to compromise. Maybe split the amount in half and you can each pick what to do with it. Or agree to spending half on fun stuff half on the items you mentioned.

    I get its HIS bonus but your a family and you contribute also. So when you made more did YOU decide what would be done with the money all the time? I'm guessing not.

    Hopefully he'll be understanding about this....good luck

    Answer by choco_mom at 10:56 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Maybe you can just ask him if it would be possible to pay one of the things you want to be paid and then he can spend the rest on what he wants. I would just approach it like its not a big deal but you were just wondering if it was possible.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:56 AM on Feb. 18, 2011