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How do I get all the pain my ex caused me?

I Loved Him So Much

I LOVED HIM SO MUCH,

I was the only one in his life, or so I thought. He was my frist love and it felt so great. I remember when we would go out he was so proud to be with me, and he told his friends about me all the time. I never once ever thought it would end, specially the way it did. I was at my father's house one day, like always, I thought he was at work. He was always there before, but not this time.

I finally decided it was time for me to go home, leave my dads. I went to the store on my way home and did what you would normally do on any given day. I was driving down our road whem I noticed his truck was in the drive way and so wasn't my sister's car. I wasn't suppose to go home that day, I was going to stay at my dads, but decided to go home for odd reason. I had always stayed at my dads cause he worked nights, but there was something telling to go home, actually I was feeling like something bad had hapen and didn't know why.

I pulled into the drive way really slow, I wanted to surprise him by me coming home that early and I never for once ever thought there was something going on between him and my sister. Anyway, I got out of the car went up to the front door and open it up just like any other time before.

When the door opened i allmost couldn't breath and I passed out from the shock of what I seen. There was my sister and our friend with my old man, in my livingroom, having a threesome. I have never felt that much before in my life. It was so bad, I thought I had a heart atack or stroke.

All I could do was stand there, I couldn't move, It was like I was dead, I was in shock so bad that I had to go to the hospital. On the way there I couldn't move, talk, or even feel anything, nothing, it was like I was dead. For the next year after that I was allways walking around like I was lost, and I was. I didn't
know anything, didn't feel anything, I was dead.

It's been a few years since then and I still sometimes go into a sate of mind where I really not here or any where at that matter. I am stil going in out out of shock for all the pain. I seen him the other day and all he could is look at me and not even say a word, He had hurt himsele just as bad as they did me.

I left him that day I caught them, I could never be with him again, cause every time I seen either one of them, all my mind would do is start playing it over and over in my head.

I am doing so much better now. I just can't trust anyone. But i know someday I will again, I just can't give up on that wish.

(Source: hubpages.com)

Answer Question
 
GENIVA-DIANE

Asked by GENIVA-DIANE at 11:11 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I don't get it. Is this your situation or something from online? Men have fetishes. It happens. Move on
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I am so sorry you suffered the worst of betrayals, not only from him but from your own flesh and blood. You need to move on and find someone worthy of you, he is out there, don't ever give up on love, as for the love you have for him he is not worthy and this is why you should move on. I know it is easier said than done, but give it time you will heal and be wiser for it, hugs!
    older

    Answer by older at 11:16 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This sounds HORRIBLE.

    Are you seeing a counselor? Are you on any meds to help with coping?

    I see you have a journal / blog. Keep writing, keep getting it out.

    Maybe even find a support group if you can.

    Your friend, sister and ex engaged in a very selfish haphazard act at your expense. I am so sorry.

    Keep talking don't give up on people. Chances are this will never happen to you again.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 11:18 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This is not from an online relationship ! and not my situation now. It just my family wasn't raised around anything like that and hurt.
    GENIVA-DIANE

    Comment by GENIVA-DIANE (original poster) at 11:19 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • You need to get counseling. It really isnt normal to have these feelings for so long. It is obsessive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:27 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Is this your words, your writing, your story or something you found that you have questions about?
    isabellalecour

    Answer by isabellalecour at 11:51 AM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • wow that is all i have to say
    Amanda11810

    Answer by Amanda11810 at 3:10 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I know that if I witnessed this with my dh I would be devastated. I'm glad your feeling better. You will find a man worthy of you one day.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:08 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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