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How do I handle this?

I have a boy (14 months) with my ex. We get along fine, although we won't be together again. I have a new fiance and he is constantly getting angry at me when my ex text messages me. New fiance has demanded that when my ex and I meet to give our son to eachother, (drop h im off or pick him up) that the ex comes to our apartment door so that fiance can make sure my ex doesnt flirt with me or anything. He get's angry and rants to me about it later and makes me feel guilty when I try to go down stairs of our apartment building to hand my son to my ex. But I don't think fiance should be involved in this if he has such anger. What should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:57 AM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Sounds like your fiance has some issues that would be red flags for me. I'd make sure those issues are dealt with before I EVEN thought about marrying him. If he can't trust you, what kind of relationship do you REALLY have?

    Answer by specialwingz at 12:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This is the first step towards abuse. He wants control of you , the ex, and the boy. Jealousy is not flattering. Get rid of him now before it gets worse.

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:05 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I think this finance doesnt sound like someone you would want to be a stepfather to your child. :(

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I wouldn't marry a guy who has that kind of jealousy/anger issues. He sounds controlling and manipulative. It won't get better in time. If you insist on being in a relationship with him then have someone else come pick the child up for your x.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:04 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This is not good. Your son will benefit so much from you having a civil relationship with your ex. Your fiance should not put you in the position of having to risk that. You have already made your choice, you are no longer with the ex, obviously the two of you broke up for a reason, and now you have chosen your fiance. I would straight up tell your fiance that you, your son, and your ex come as a package. You will always be in each other's lives. Your ex needs to be able to call you if he has a question or concern about your son, you need to be able to have open lines of communication, and as your son grows up you will have to attend school functions or sports games all together. Your fiance would do well to actually develop his own good repoire with your ex because he's not going to go away. If you fiance can not accept these terms then you need to reconsider if a marriage will work. Do you want this jealousy forever? GL!

    Answer by MaryMW at 12:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I agree with the first poster. This man is not showing signs he should be in your child's life or yours. This kind of jealousy is so far out of the realm of sanity, it really does sound like worse behavior will follow.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:08 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would be running away from that relationship.

    Be careful!

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 12:12 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Your fiance reminds me of my first husband. HE wound up being a possessive/abusive jerk. You and your ex are split for a reason, but you are doing a good job (as far as I can tell) co-parenting your child. Personally, I would tell the fiance to "hit the road jack, and don't you come back no more no more. Hit the road jack, and don't you come back no more."

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:29 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Cancel the wedding and get the fiance out of your life. He's too jealous and controlling.

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:47 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Sister dump him! This is a full lookie see to what it will always be like.Do you want to always have this problem.?Rethink him as you so please.Too many nice guys out there to have to put up with that.Good luck.

    Answer by grismelda at 1:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2011