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My husband made his therpay appt!! So, should I....

Start treating him like a king now or wait to see if he sticks with it? I want to give him incentive to stick with it I think, show him what he's working for.

It took him 3 weeks to finally make it but he did it. His issue is lying for those of you who haven't read my questions before. He lies about money, stopping at friends houses, etc. Stupid things that add up to me not trusting him.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I wouldn't go to the king level yet but would tell him how much it meant to me that he went and that you appreciate him so much for doing it. It shows he really wants to work on things.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:17 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • You don't need to treat him like a king for dong what needs to done to make sense out of stuff he never should have been doing in the first place. I would express how grateful you are but I don't think he's earned hero worship by any means.

    My husband want to marital counseling for every year until the therapist suggested I just come on my own as he was just showing up to keep me happy but doing no work or taking it seriously,

    I would wait and see if his BEHAVIOR changes before I get my hopes up.

    Good luck.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 1:18 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Thank him for making the appointment, but treat him like a king after he goes to it and continues to go. If you start too much praise now, he may not actually go to the appointment.
    silversmom

    Answer by silversmom at 1:18 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • he just made the appt wait til he actually goes to the apointment then just somethig simple like thank you fo going and taking the first step to helping fix our marriage. when is your next appt? but i wouldnt treat him like a king. just because he made the appt doesnt mean that he will go to it or solve the problem of lieing.
    laura970

    Answer by laura970 at 1:19 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would not treat him like a king. I think I would talk to him and tell him how your are proud of him for taking the first step to get help. I would wait and see how things go before I start treating him like a king.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 1:20 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would just act normal. He is not going to stick with it if he doesn't want to no matter what you do. And if he does stick with it because you want him to, chances are that he want have the same success. Therapy is usually only successful for people that really want it.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 1:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I agree with letting him know how much you appreciate and support him though.
    Namaste17

    Answer by Namaste17 at 1:26 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • IMO you should not even be thing about treating him like a king yet.
    Just tell him that you really appreciate him making the appointment. You see that he is trying and that's great, but it's a long road for both of you. And although this is a great start, you still have issues, and are glad that some will be worked on. And with time, you will learn to trust him again.
    Good luck.
    Mme.Langley

    Answer by Mme.Langley at 1:39 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • yeah just start appreciate him that he made the appointment just be happy for him goodluck mama
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 1:47 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • You should let him know all this has been emotionally upsetting for you and you too will be working on making progress to save your relationship. Let him know because of his actions this is going to take time for you to gain trust and feel right about this again. However, you're happy he is willing to work things through as a couple. Take it slow and get some quality time with him. I really hope this works out for you. Best wishes.
    chgomom

    Answer by chgomom at 2:02 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

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