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2 Bumps

TMI!!! How can I fix things?? adult content

I've been dating my bf for 11 months now and we are currently expecting our first child (my 2nd). I don't think I have EVER had an orgasm with him.

I was with my ex for 3 years, and he was an amazing lover. I knew going from my ex to someone else was going to be a big change, but after 11 months, I thought I would have had an orgasm by now. He usually finishes before I do, and usually within a few minutes. He claims it is because now that I'm pregnant, every thing in "there" is a lot tighter and he can't control it. We also aren't as emotionally connected as my ex and I were.

How can I orgasm with my bf? I don't know what to say without hurting his feelings, but I'm also getting really sick and tired of having to fake it and/or just watch him feel pleased. It's stressful and annoying! I feel like since we don't have a good sexual connection, that our relationship won't last. That is NOT being shallow, that is being honest. Sexual compatibility is a huge aspect in a relationship. HELP!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I ran into this with my ex husband. As soon as I got pregnant his stamina went bye bye. It is frustrating but there is more to sex than just penetration. As long as he is committed to finding other ways to make sure your taken care of I believe this can be overcome. There are exercises he can work on too increase his stamina too.

    If you didn't have a child on the way then I would agree that sexual compatability can be a deal breaker but I think given your situation you should do what you can to resolve this issue .

    Answer by kayslay at 4:35 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I would be honest with him. It will hurt his feelings at first to learn you've been faking, but then you can get to fixing.

    Answer by gdiamante at 3:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Buy a sex book with some illustrations.Give it to him and say, lets try this...and this...oh ...and this...and somethign has to work! May be a lot of fun gettin there! GL

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 3:24 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • You have to tell him. plain and simple...& honest.

    Answer by paramoreMommI at 3:33 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I dated a guy like that once and I hated having sex with him he was actually a 1or2 min man and he didn't care if I got mine or not. So you need to tell him to slow down so you can get yours too and tell him what turns you on with sex either doggy or whatever. He needs to put you first and then come.
    Me and my husband talk about what we want and we aim to please each other he is the first man I have ever had that cared if I came or not and I cum everytime we have sex unless i just dont want too. You need to tell him what you want or he will never change

    Answer by dusty1962 at 11:56 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Tell him what you want while you are having sex, whisper it in his ear. Maybe he doesn't know this is an issue for you if you are faking it.

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 3:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Well, you know what pleases you (which is a huge start). Maybe taking charge and telling him what to do?

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:13 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I've never been able to orgasm with intercourse. Just tell him you need more so you can finish too. I've had more boyfriends assume I finished! so I tell my partner to stay there until he gets it right! lol If he fails, I just use my Rabbit vibrator. Also remind him that after the baby is born it won't be so tight anymore so he won't have any excuse then.

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:16 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • ask him to eat u out, that works for mines.

    Answer by EttaMay at 5:09 PM on Feb. 18, 2011