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What are you doing to promote good self esteem in your children?

I had a chat about respecting yourself and how to respect others.


Asked by 2tinyhineys at 3:34 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 26 (28,098 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • IMO.... promoting self esteem means to allow the child the opportunity to succeed or to learn from his/her failures through guidance and by exposing the child to a variety of activities, people, situations, etc.

    Self Esteem is NOT given but earned. You can not give your child self esteem... you can only help guide them.  Reading about it doesnt give it.  DOING and succeeding at something or learning from a mistake and correcting it next time will help a child with self esteem.  You have to DO to feel.  Reading about feeling good doesnt work.


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I've gone to the library when my dd was 9 and got all kinds of books for us to look at and her to look at too by herself. It opened a dialog for us on all kinds of issues including self-esteem. She is low in it I'm afraid and she's 12 now. It gets harder each year, so start early talking.

    Answer by cat4458 at 3:41 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • what we have done.... we have exposed our kids to MANY sports, activities, etc... where they showed an interest we have found classes, teams, etc.  We have shared in their accomplishments and have helped them problem solve when they failed.  We have given them choices so that they can take responsibility and credit for when they succeed and for when they fail.... and we have stood beside them the whole way.  WE have allowed THEM to earn what they have in life.


    btw... they are in high school, both a son & a daughter


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I compliment them on all sorts of things, the way they look, their behavior (when they're being good), their artwork, when they dance, how smart they are, I always try to have something positive to say for what they do. I don't outright tell them they're bad when they're being little terrors, I let them know that their behavior is unacceptable, but that I know there's a good girl hiding in all that sassiness. Lots of love, hugs, kisses, cuddles. I dress them nice and do their hair so they receive compliments from people. I reward good behavior and I always notice and reward them for doing nice things like picking up their room, clearing away dirty dishes, picking up toys from the living room. I just try to be as positive as i can with them.

    Answer by Nanixh at 3:56 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I created self esteem in mine with lots and lots of praise, from the most insignificant things, to biggies.

    Answer by older at 3:56 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • It's easy to be confident when things are going right and the world is praising you. It's a lot harder when you're falling flat and finding the upside is iffy. My kids are young but we're doing for them what my parents did for me - we talk about about how no one is infallible. We all make mistakes the difference is what we do about it. The successful learn from their missteps and grow. The others spend a lot of time stagnant and wallowing. It's incredibly empowering to know that it's ok to mess up and that you can still come out ahead. At 8 1/2 and 6, we help our kids navigate their rough spots by encouraging them to look beyond the moment, reassuring them that its temporary and they can use it as a tool to improve for the next time. We also make sure to compliment and praise when appropriate while remaining careful to not Over do it. No one builds esteem because mom gushed over matched socks. ;)

    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I am careful about over praising which can build a false sense of confidence that quickly crumbles when it's knocked against. It's hard to maintain self-esteem that's been cultivated by the "praise every thing" approach. I had a roommate like that in college. She had NO idea what to do with herself when every little thing she did wasn't praise worthy and there was no one there to tell her it was. She started to doubt herself and worry - her esteem took a big hit. Instead, our family also focuses on the realistic side of praising what is praise-worthy, while encouraging the balance of the time. We support our kids. They know we do and that we are proud of them - but we also don't over do it with the 'atta boy' stuff.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I make sure to acknowledge my children's achievements and give compliments when they go above and beyond. I provide opportunities for them to try new things and work on skills they enjoy and encourage them to keep trying even when things seem hard to them.

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 2:44 PM on Feb. 19, 2011