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Do you ever feel like your the one making efforts to see your friends or take them out?

I don't know about you but for me I am always inviting my girlfriends to my hot tub, to my pool, to work out, to take them out for a bite to eat, to buy them stuff to give them stuff to call them to email them.


But I don't feel that ANY of them make efforts for me it really depressed me a few months back. I felt like I was ganged up on then left out of the group especially when 4 to 6 of my friends would get together and go out and not even call me or invite me. It's like my friends don't think I'm alive now that I am a mother, pregnant, and married. My own mother always told me that I needed to over come that. Because when you get married and have kids you wont have many friends. But i think it takes effort to do it! Not everything has to be such a big deal, or cost money. Just to have a friend stop by and hang out and talk would be nice.

I know I live in the city now, as where all my friends live in asmall town in the woods. They are scared to drive into the city or just never come out this way. I wish that they would though. Because I feel like I am always spending way more money just for all my efforts. I am always over the top. It was this way when I was a counselor. And now I am a stay at home mom, I have more time.

What should I say so they will come and visit, or want to do more with me and all of our children?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:24 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • BUMP wow that is crazy. I know a person like this that reaches to everyone and is so kindly it isn't funny. When people knowing her take time for seeing her it's like they are usually the ones that need help or can't get it together. I never hear her go out with many friends or relatives. This isn't right, none of it. More people should get their act together and send thought that is sure and sincere. Many things are better than going to the bar, or going to dance, and I am sure money doesn't buy happiness, but money is what is needed to get by in life .
    coffeeyum

    Answer by coffeeyum at 5:30 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • no...opposite even. they're always calling me to hang out. especially when money is tight my girl Courtney is texting me to go to Hooters and i'm like "Girl!!! you always ask when i'm broke haha"
    momofone725

    Answer by momofone725 at 5:31 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Lol well I have to admit lately I actually ahve had 3 friends contact me and 4 others who text me on and off. It's been nice, but maybe it was because I was always at work and gone on my 2 days. But at the same time none of my friends have much money, they also may have different interests such as the bars, and clubbing. And again I am not into drinking right now or have moneymyself. So there could be many reasons. I just think making effort for friends is so nice!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:36 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Honestly, if they were real friends, you wouldn't be the only one making an effort. Maybe you should try making some new friends who live closer to you, people who have the same interests. Your life DOES change after you have children, and sometimes old friends just can't adjust to that.... It doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or even with them, just that your lives are in different places right now. See if you can find a mommy's group near you, or sign up for some classes you're interested in, so you can meet people with the same interests. Don't give up on your old friends completely, but don't go overboard trying to hold on to them either...
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 5:40 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • yes all the time
    regian19832002

    Answer by regian19832002 at 6:16 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • when ya figure it out let me know
    Amanda11810

    Answer by Amanda11810 at 8:37 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I felt that way for a long time about a few of my friends, and decided they were not true friends. So I dumped them, just stopped calling them and it have been about a year and they have not called me. Life is to short to spend your efforts on such BS
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 11:44 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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