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My first marriage thought it was his to

I recently seperated from dh to work out some major issues in our marriage. After eleven years( obviously in the dark) i find out that my dh and my ss's bm were married. I was always told they never married by him and his family. I never really had conversations with her due to conflict she started in the begining of my relationship with my dh. How should i react cause i'm flipping pissed!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • You have every right to be upset how did you find out? If it was through her ask to see proof divorce decree marriage license something. I am so sorry I do not know how I would react.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 7:59 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Honesty, is key! You have every right to be mad.

    Answer by Mommy1234321 at 8:00 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Well that should be a big mark against him. Lieing. Hiding it from you.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:01 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I am still learning lingo . . what is ss and what is bm.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 8:01 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Wow, that's a tough one. Lying is a major breach of trust and without trust what good is the relationship. Add to the his family who who complicit with the lies. I would have to think very carefully before I could proceed to work on it. Personally, I'm not sure I could get past it. Did he finally tell you or did you find out by accident? THAT would be a big factor.


    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:01 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I don't understand why he wouldn't just tell you that in the first place.  To me it seems silly to have lied about something like that.  It would make me wonder what else he's lied about.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 8:03 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • ss=stepson bm=birthmom

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 8:07 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I found out by accident. I lost my dl license so had to get a copy of our marriage licence as one of my forms of id. That's how i came across it.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:25 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. For me, I would be done. He and his family have been actively lying to you for 11 yrs. I think I would wonder daily what else he lied about. I just don't think I could get past it and forgive 11 yrs.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 8:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • wow! kinda know how you feel.. after my divorce from my ex i dated a guy who i thought was also divorced (so he told me.. and his family hated her so i only heard bad about her) and when we started dating i told him my divorce wasnt final yet and he said as long as its in the process... sooooo some months later when his mom slipped up and said i just wish so and so would finally get a lawyer and get divorced from her so yall can move on with your lives.. i was really confused and she caught that.. i was like... divorced?? i thought he was.. and she said oh you didnt know they were still legally married.. i was like NO. and then i pulled away and left him

    Answer by Ross2010 at 8:54 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

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