Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Really upset...I don't know what I'm doing wrong..

My boyfriend recently got a new job and when he works he turns into a different person and starts being really mean to me. He works from 9 am to 7 pm then its about an hour drive home. I don't have a car so I sit at home alone all day lonely and bored looking forward to him getting here. I'm going through a lot of depressing stressful stuff and I don't have any friends or family to come pick me up and spend time with me while he is working. I understand he is tired when he gets home but he ususally wants to drag me to his friends house or go somewhere when he gets home. I just got money for a car and found what sounded like a nice one and they guy said I could come look at this evening. So when my bf got off I asked if he would take me and he said ok. We live about 15 min from town and when we got into town the ATM wouldn't let me draw out the money I needed. So he called the guy and the guy said if I gave him a couple hundred he would hold the car. I said I didn't feel comfortable doing that and my BF got really mad! He said I made him come into town for no reason but I didn't even know I wasn't going to be able to get the money. I also wanted to go out to eat but then since my BF was being so mean I didn't really want to pay to feed him so I asked him to just take me home then he says things like "walk home". He said he didn't want to go back home so he just sat in the ingles parking lot for like 30 min. After I realized I either had to take him to eat or sit in the ingles parking lot for the rest of the night I told him we would go eat. But all the places I wanted to eat were closed and everything was pretty much closed so there really wasn't anything to do. I finally decided on place and when I went inside he said he didnt know why he came in because he wasnt letting me pay for him to eat. I wasnt going to just sit there and eat when I wanted to go home in the first place. So I went back out to the car and when he got in he told me when we got home he wanted me to leave. He knows I don't have anywhere to go. Then he drove recklessly in the rain up our curvy road yelling at me saying it was my fault that he was in a bad mood. I'm pregnant so I asked him to please stop driving like that and he told me he didn't care about me and I didn't care about my baby because I wouldn't eat and I stay stressed. If he knows I'm stressed why would he contribute!?!?!? When we get home he tells me to stop crying and watches tv laughing acting like he doesnt feel bad at all. I'm just really frustrated. I really don't know what I did wrong. And it hurts that he tells me he loves me and everything but as soon as he gets mad he is quick to tell me to leave. Do you ever feel like you haven't done anything wrong and try to avoid arguing but no matter what some one keeps putting you down?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:32 PM on Feb. 18, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • It doesn't sound to me like YOU are the problem.  Dump that loser gf.  Life is too short to waste it with someone like him.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:37 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • This sounds like a case of mental abuse. I am sorry you are going thru this. I lived in an abusive relationship for a very long time. Start talkin to someone about it, mom, sister, best friend, someone. Tell someone the truth so you have someone on your side. Good luck!

    Answer by parajumper3 at 11:38 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • hugs


    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:44 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Kick him to the curb!!! he needs to freaking grow up bigtime!! You don't need him. he's useless and worthless! Why would you even want to be with him. I love him isn't any good excuse.

    Answer by diamondsarecool at 11:50 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • I don't have anyone to talk to about it. I don't have anywhere to go if I leave here. He used to have bed anger problems but over the last couple months he has done better, but now since he started working again he is being really mean again.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:41 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • You don't have any friends that you could stay with?  Where is your family babe?


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:41 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • No, all my friends live to far to come get me, and I have tried that before but I don't have a cell phone and my bf won't let me use his.He will tell me to leave but then not let me call anyone to get me, like he wants me to walk and find a phone. My parents blow it off if I tell them we are having problems they won't let me stay with them.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:45 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Holy shit gf.  He has some serious control issues.  Walk and find a phone and get the hell away from him.  I can't even believe someone would be so cruel. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:49 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • Definite mental and emotional abuse. Call a church, YWCA, woman's shelter, anything to get away while you're in one piece. Unfortunately, it only gets worse and no matter what YOU do, he's still going to be the way he is. There is nothing you can do to
    change things, only he can and it doesn't sound likely that will happen. God Bless.

    Answer by JeannieBee at 11:51 PM on Feb. 18, 2011

  • The thing is he isn't always like this and thats what makes it hurt even more. We can be doing great for a long time and I can feel like I am completely in love with him then he will just turn on me and be a complete ass then try to apologize hours later but by then I don't feel like forgiving him. When he acts like that its extremely irrational and I can stay completely calm while he is yelling but he says that just because I dont yell and cuss doesn't mean I'm not being nice. But the thing is I won't be doing anything mean at all, I will just try to avoid the argument. I don't wear make up and stuff often because I feel ugly from being preggo but this evening I dressed nice and did my make up and hair and stuff because he didn't take me out on valentines so I figured I would take us to dinner and he wasn't appreciative at all that I was going to feed him and he didn't even tell me I looked nice or anything :(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:55 PM on Feb. 18, 2011