Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

Am I The Only One That Feels This Way?

Ok, I was dating a man a few years ago and he seemed really nice when i first met him, until the first time we had a fight and he hit me. He apologized but the next time he was angry he hit me again, this time leaving a pretty bad bruise on my cheek. I broke up with him but, a month later I found out I was pregnant. When I told him he we got into a huge fight and he said he wanted nothing to do with the baby. I didn't push because I didn't want him to see her anyway. Now she's two and my grandmother has been driving me crazy, saying that I should have married him. She knows he was abusive but she says that I crawled in bed with him and got pregnant so I should face the consequences. Alice is my child, not his, and I don't want her around him. And it doesn't matter anyway because he doesn't want either of us anyway. In my grandmother's day, when a seventeen year old got pregnant she married him no matter what. She thinks that I should marry him and that he should help me raise Alice and I'm just being rebellous by not wanting him to have anything to do with my daughter. I think I'm right but what do you think?

Answer Question

Asked by Razzle_Dazzle1 at 12:21 AM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,775 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I think that your right.  My grandmother was the same way.  She was very marriage oriented and believed if a woman wasn't married by 20 she was doomed to be alone forever.  This is 2011, an entirely different era.  Your doing the right thing babe.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 12:23 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Do not listen to her. You don't want your child to grow up watching someone hurt you or have to endure the arguments. Do what makes you and your child happy!

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I side with you.

    Someone good with come along for you and your daughter.

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 12:25 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I think your grandmother wants to have him take the responsibility she is feeling for you and your daughter. She is looking for someone who can take care of you. It sure isn't this guy. And she apparently doesn't care if you or your child will live and survive or not. It is terrible advice. Make it clear in no uncertain terms that this man is not an option for you. It is not safe. In the meantime work to gain independence for yourself and your daugther. Do what you need to do, whether it involves going to school or taking an extra job. And be strong and know that you are making a GOOD decision, better than grandmothers in this case!

    Answer by spottedpony at 12:26 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Do can see both sides. But you have to protect you and your child. Be careful.

    Answer by oliviahank at 12:26 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • STAY AWAY FROM THE ABUSIVE GUY!!! I don't care if she is older she is not wiser if she is giving you THAT advise!

    Answer by dragonqueen at 12:28 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • No way should you have married him! He could seriously hurt you and your daughter.

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 12:30 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I think your Grandma needs to realize that times have changed- like it or not. Personally I think you did the right thing in not marrying him, you and your daughter are better off without that abusive jerk!

    Answer by MizLee at 12:30 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Gal you're right. Why should you tolerate an abusive guy????

    Answer by AnuMeha at 12:33 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • U r right. And someone will come along and treat u the right way u need to be treated! I agree with the other moms

    Answer by HayliesMama325 at 12:33 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.