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Grandaughter to warm up...

My daughter was court ordered to let my granddaughter's biological (sperm donor) for supervised visits 3 times a week in 2 hour sessions. The visits are at my house. My granddaughter is not warming up to him at all and will not let him feed her. My daughter leaves the room to let them "bond" and all my granddaughter does is cry until she throws up. She is 8 months old..........(This only happened twice) It makes me so sad to see how she gets so upset and no matter what he does she will not calm down. How long do you think it will take for this "bond" to happen. This is our 4th week of visitation... We have asked our attorney for an additional 2 more weeks of supervised... Any answers or comments would be great..

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JamiesMom08

Asked by JamiesMom08 at 5:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • Does he get frustrated with her? She may be able to feel him getting frustrated. Have your daughter stay in the room so she is comfortable and have the SD feed her sweet foods like bananas and things and see if she will eat that. She is at the typical age for separation anxiety and she has only had mommy and grandma all this time. It will take time for her to get used to her dad. Is it possible for him to come over more often? I know that is a lot to ask but, if it would help your granddaughter then it might be worth it. At least her dad wants to be involved with her.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 6:18 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • wow he must have done something to her..maybe it is him being frustrated or something..all he can do is try to comfort her
    gracie43008

    Answer by gracie43008 at 6:25 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Look at it from the baby's point of view. Her mother is leaving the room, leaving her sight. At this age, most babies think that means mommy is GONE, diappeared, never coming back. Lots of moms have problems simply because they can't go pee without a child this age screaming in panic when they leave.
    If this guy really wants to bond, if your daughter really wants this to happen, then she should stay in the room. Both of them should sit on the floor and play with the baby. Once they are playing, your daughter can scoot back a little and let him do most of the playing. Eventually, she will be able to leave the room - but that will be at least a couple more months and has little or nothing to do with the bond as I mentioned above.
    Good Luck!
    kaycee14

    Answer by kaycee14 at 6:30 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I agree with kaycee14.
    Krysta622

    Answer by Krysta622 at 9:36 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I am not sure he gets frustrated mbaye a little angry because he is trying to calm her down and she will not stop. My daughter has tried to sit down and play with them and my grandaughter just keeps crawling to her. She has tried to leave the room and that is the worst.. The reason he has supervised visits is because 1. he has not wanted to be involved until now. 2. he has NEVER taken care of a baby. If the "X" wants to do the right thing and step up and be a "dad" that is great but he just thinks that is going to be to easy (little does he know).. That would be another story way to long to type it here...
    JamiesMom08

    Answer by JamiesMom08 at 9:19 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

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