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2 Bumps

Is it wrong of me?

My fiance and i just started living together, we both just got cars and a bunch of much needed things for the house My past 2 paychecks have went toward bills. He has helped, he bought my car and paid for my taxes, and tag, but he has been spending a lot of money on himself. I also gave him my tax check which was about $800. Is it wrong of me to go out and spend some on myself with this check??? Or should i not because we are still trying to catch up on bills>? I just feel like we would be caught up by now if he hadent aought some of the things he bought for himself, and i know that if we both do it we will never get caught up, buthell, i wasnt some "me" money too yah kno. But am I gonna have to be the one who goes without?/

Answer Question
 
arkelly2188

Asked by arkelly2188 at 1:15 AM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Money & Work

Level 14 (1,397 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i know this is not the answer you are looking for but you really need to hurry and discuss how finances will work with your SO, messing up finances via spending too much, one person getting to splurge while the other is alwaysbroke, etc can cause a huge strain and itll be over before you know it.

    talk to your man.

    but the way we do it if you are loking for diection. His money and My money becomes our money. I also put away a portion of our money every other week, trying to save because we are looking to move in less thn a year to a bigger place, plus my account holds an emergency fund because he cant help himself if its in his account. anyway, we dont buy personal stuff unless our sons expenses have been taken care of, and then we decide on who can get what.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 1:23 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I agree with Domonique. Money is one of the biggest issues in relationships/marriages. You need to communicate about it NOW, before you start to resent each other for what he's bought, or he for what you've bought while you're filing for bankruptcy.

    I opened an Orange account a couple years ago and have $50 every two weeks transferred into it. That is our "holiday account", so that when it's time to Christmas shop, I can pay cash for everything, but it also acts as an emergency fund, if needed.

    What ever you do, communicate without blame and come up with a game plan that works for both of you.

    Good luck!!
    5150mama

    Answer by 5150mama at 1:34 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Yeah you really need to talk to him now about spending habits. You should pay off the bills and if you really want something for yourself keep it small. Like a new lipstic or something.
    SweetLoveofMine

    Answer by SweetLoveofMine at 1:59 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Bills first and spending money second. Equal spending money for each of you. Set your priorities and stick to it.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:42 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • "tit for tat" does not make a healthy relationship.

    Your first spending priority is what your family needs: healthy foods, shelter, utilities, etc. Next, is saving for your retirement, and college for any children the two of you may have. After that, if you have a healthy "emergency fund". then you have disposable income.

    Of the many conversations my spouse and I had when we were considering marriage, was one that ended with us agreeing to consult with the other any time we spend more than $100. This works for us, though it may not work for you.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:12 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • You both need to set down and do a budget. You have to work as a team now.
    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 8:28 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I would sit down and TALK with him. Have him help you make out a budget. My DH and I never had separate finances- we just put it all together(way back when I was still working lol) and bills and necessities came out first, then if there was any left, we discussed what to do with it. Like if I had been wanting something for a while or he had, or if we should just split it up.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 9:15 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

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