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Grandaughter warm up...

My daughter was court ordered to let my granddaughter's biological (sperm donor) for supervised visits 3 times a week in 2 hour sessions. The visits are at my house. My granddaughter is not warming up to him at all and will not let him feed her. My daughter leaves the room to let them "bond" and all my granddaughter does is cry until she throws up. She is 8 months old..........(This only happened twice) It makes me so sad to see how she gets so upset and no matter what he does she will not calm down. How long do you think it will take for this "bond" to happen. This is our 4th week of visitation... We have asked our attorney for an additional 2 more weeks of supervised... Any answers or comments would be great..

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Asked by JamiesMom08 at 6:00 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • It would be very hard to bond with your child with people hovering, but if he only has supervised visits there must be a reason. Your grandchild may be feeding off you you and her mother though. I know that when I am upset, DD gets upset too. The dad and child may be more comfortable on their own, and may bond more quickly that way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:03 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • It's a hard thing to do. Try being in the room with them and getting friendly with him, if your granddaughter see's this she might think he might actually be okay. The more positive you are the more she will be. Remember too though that at this age they tend to start the "shy around other people" phase. Try to keep things calm, pick a game that you can All play together with her, the more involved you are in getting her to like him the easier it will be.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:41 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • i really beleive that kids dont like certain people for a reason. kinda like, kids can sense evil. sounds weird, but i really beleive that. when my duaghter crys her butt off with certain people, i keep her away from them. i dont care whos feelings i hurt, if my girl doesnt like you, buzz off.
    everyone has instincts, and i think kids are better at following it then adults do. keep your eye on him as much as possible if you can. good luck.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:15 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • My daughter has tried to sit down and play with them and my grandaughter just keeps crawling to her. She has tried to leave the room and that is the worst.. The reaseon he has supervised visits is because 1. he has not wanted to be involved until now. 2. he has NEVER taken care of a baby. If the sperm donor wants to do the right thing and step up and be a "dad" that is great but he just thinks that is going to be to easy (little does he know).. That would be another story way to long to type it here...

    Answer by JamiesMom08 at 9:16 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

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