So, I met with a new doctor not that long back (for a second opinion with my third doctor due to aggressive, damaging endometriosis), but it really has my husband and I talking. I am 23 and my new doctor just informed me that I would need another surgery soon, and a hysterectomy is inevitable. Actually, I have had 3 doctors tell me that now because my endo is bad and is effing with all my other systems.
Anyways, the doctor had suggested that there might be a 'window' to have another child (I have a little girl who is almost two) and that if we miss it... we may not get another one. This kinda freaks me out, you know? I am NOT ready for another one right now, we can't exactly afford another one right now, but... I don't want to have just one for forever. I would like to give her a sibling or two and I just worry that if we don't do it now, we will never be able to.
I made 11.5k last year, so we really don't have money. My husband is job searching, so money won't ALWAYS be a problem. Another issue is law school; I am starting in August, and already took a year off (mostly to spend it with my daughter because I know it won't happen as much in school), but we could consciously plan accordingly and start trying in a window that would allow me to give birth during my first summer break.
My concerns though are... what if he doesn't find a job? We'd have 2 kids on 11.5k, which is already relatively uncomfortable with 1. If the baby were to be a boy, we'd have to get clothes, toys, ect and couldn't just recycle my daughter's things which is another added disadvantage. I worry that the first few years of the baby's life would be shortchanged, as I would be in law school for multiple hours a day. I contemplate whether or not this is a cop-out though because I had my daughter in the middle of my junior year of college, and she turned out just fine, despite my senior year of school.
I don't know if my fears are valid, or if it is just an excuse.
One more worry for me is health, for two reasons:
1. I was SOOO sick when I was pregnant. I didn't just have morning sickness, I had all the time sickness. The wrong visual, smell, or taste caused the worst pukes. I would vomit so bad I would get stuff stuck in my nose (one time I got a spaghetti noodle stuck there and that HURT).
I also had REALLY bad blood pressure issues. It was SO high it was starting to do damage to my body, and we ended up inducing my daughter the day after her due-date because they were worried it would hurt her (but that didn't start till month 7-ish).
2. I have 2 uterus'. Yes, you read that right: I HAVE TWO. I don't have a heart shaped uterus, so don't get me wrong, I have two fully functioning uteruses side by side, connected by a tiny tunnel-looking thing. One of them is bigger than average, and the other is smaller than average. I worry if the baby latches onto the smaller of the two that it would be born premature and might suffer from developmental delays. I don't know if there is some kind of procedure a doctor can do to locate the sperm and egg to a safe place, but I imagine it being in the little one would be both bad for me and the baby.
Despite the illnesses I had during my last pregnancy though, my daughter was TOTALLY worth it, and I feel like another child would be too. I just worry that NOW (as in in the next 6 months) might not be the right time, but am consciously aware this might be the last time we ever get to try.
... what do you think? What would you do?
To baby... or not to baby? This is my question.
Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:07 AM on Feb. 19, 2011
Answer by ladymomtraveler at 8:24 AM on Feb. 19, 2011
Answer by keisha613 at 9:06 AM on Feb. 19, 2011
Answer by ahsot1230 at 2:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2011