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4 Bumps

In a public place I see messy moms with dozens of kids & I can't seem to have one?

Why does it seem that moms who can't seem to take care of themselves are able to have kids at will, while mom-want-to-be's (like me) who work hard to keep P's & Q's together are having a hard time conceiving?

It just does not seem fair

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:47 AM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (22)
  • I can understand your frustration but let me tell ya, motherhood IS messy.  You only THINK that you have it together. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 11:48 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • i can relate...we ttc'd forever, all the while, ppl around us seemed to be oozing out kids left and right w/o a care & complaining about it.

    however, the first thing i learned now that i am a proud adoptive just can't judge other parents.

    ***baby dust to you on your ttc journey**** i know how the rollercoaster of that can be so difficult. xo

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 11:51 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • what do you mean cannot take care of themselves how do you know these moms are not just having an off day?

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 11:52 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Ask that question again when you haven't slept for months because you feel like a beached whale or you have a newborn that, to you, never sleeps longer than 10 minutes at a time. Ask that question again when you actually have kids of your own and you're fighting through a migraine brought on by children bickering and fighting.

    Walk a mile in my shoes before you judge me.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:53 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • it's because they don't TRY to have kids. the stress of wanting to be pregnant is what's preventing you from getting pregnant

    Answer by momofone725 at 11:54 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • First of all, I'm very sorry you are struggling with infertility. I am fortunate enough to have adopted one beautiful daughter and give birth to two sons.

    Let me tell you something about motherhood, it's a messy job, a wonderful gift, but keeping thy self together is a daily struggle. I manage to shower, shave my legs, do my hair and wear make up every day of my life, but it's something that is important to me, so I've always allowed myself that time.

    As far as keeping the kids together, ugh! I run a small day care so when I'm out in public, it may look like I have too many children to control (and really I do!) or that I can't get it together but I think for what I do, I'm more together than most. Parenting, while amazing and wonderful, is a dirty job! Sometimes parents just say "What the hell?" and let the kids run while they sit and drink their coffee, and not pay attention.

    Answer by SnapdragonSMT at 11:58 AM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Kids are messy, that's life. I understand your frustration ( I struggled with infertility the first time around) but you don't know all these "messy kids and messy moms" situations. I get frequent migraines, 3-4 times a week, and when I have to run an errand, I don't always feel like dressing to the nines or making sure my kids are in pristine condition.

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 12:00 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I agree kids are messy but I think I know where your coming from. I always do my best to present myself and our children the best that I can when we're in public. I think the presence of our children reflects upon our family. As far as having a baby I can't say much. We've been so blessed by our kids, but we didn't "try" so to say. We we're ready for them but didn't have a set plan. I've often heard of families who have tried having a baby and had no success, then adopting and a biological baby comes soon after that. I think it allows you to take the pressure off of yourself.


    Answer by csmsand at 12:04 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • girl...just saw a dirty mom in the dmv with four kids, three in diapers and she was driving a little compact car. her kids were loud as hell and running all over the place. omg i know i shouldn't judge but it's so hard not to when i just want to hug her little kids. sad.

    Answer by angevil53 at 12:09 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I'd rather look "messy" and be taking care of my kids than be wasting time with hair, makeup, designer overpriced crap and kids running amuck! It's called parenthood, it's a messy job if done right!

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 12:19 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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