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A teens issue, I can't believe what I just read!

A young girl wrote into a advice column asking for help on the teasing that she expected to get since her car wasn't as fancy as her classmates had.

She went to a fancy private school with a lot of kids with fancy cars and the like.

she said she knew she was lucky, but to be teased is hard and she asked for help on how to handle it.
the columnist told her to grow up and "You're crying poverty with a loaf of bread under both arms." since she went to a expensive school and had a car.

No matter how grown up you are, that doesn't make you feel any better when kids are being cruel. This has been the way of things for a long time in the schools. I wonder how many kids that asked for help before bringing a gun to school were told to just 'grow up'
I just wrote her back and told her that after hearing that response, there will probably be a lot of kids opting to not ask for help if that's the kind of slap in the face they get.

it's not like she was whining that she felt she deserved something better or the like, I think she was being very grown up about it. She was just worried about the bullying.
Bullying is not as simple as just ignoring comments and walking away. In the school I attended if you walked away, you were likely to get jumped!
I ended up failing a class because students would give me no peace. It's kind of hard to complete a assignment when kids are taking your papers, your writing utensils and teasing so badly that you can't think.

Many may disagree, but I think that when a child comes to you for help, then you need to listen and try to help them.
Geesh.

 
ItsMe89

Asked by ItsMe89 at 12:47 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 25 (23,130 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • That is terrible advice, doesn't matter how much money anyone has, bullying is not fun and makes you feel horrible. She should have been talked to in a manner explaining how to handle the bullying, when to know it is becoming harassment, and what to do about it. People are bullied at all ages and kids especially need to be taught how to deal with it so they can do it later on in life as well. Everyone has problems, no matter how big or small, they are important and need to be addressed. I am poor but don't hate rich people and think they deserve any less respect than me. That columinst needs a reality check. When people seek help, they usually are really feeling alone and don't know what to do.
    ConnectHearts

    Answer by ConnectHearts at 12:55 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I can't believe a Columnist would say something like that to a teen asking for advice- especially, about Teasing or Bullying! i am so glad you wrote her back! WOW- Unbelievable!

    daisyb

    Answer by daisyb at 1:10 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • You bring up some very good points.

    Would I, as a parent, buy her a nicer car to keep up with the Jones'? NO! I think the best thing her parents can do is give her the tools to deal with the teasing and those who are doing the teasing.

    One of my biggest pet peeves is sense of entitlement and those kids with fancy cars are growing up with that sense of entitlement. Her parents, on the other hand, are teaching her a very valuable lesson that she may not recognize until many years later, as an adult.

    Actually having to EARN a car, or the money to pay for one is such a novel idea, don't you think?
    5150mama

    Answer by 5150mama at 12:54 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • yes you should help.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:43 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • DEAR DRIVING YOURSELF CRAZY: You need to grow up. You're crying poverty with a loaf of bread under both arms. You attend a private school, which isn't cheap, and your parents have given you a car. Be grateful for what you have; most teens are not so lucky. Or consider getting a job so you can start saving for an auto upgrade.

    THIS IS THE ANSWER - She worried about BEING TEASED, and teasing is DIFFERENT FROM BULLYING!!! There really is a difference. Personally, I AGREE with "Dear Abby" on this one. She is going to a private school, and her parents are GIVING her a car! She needs to either just not get her license OR get a job for an upgrade.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:44 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • thank you ladies, I was wondering if I was the only one that thought that the point was she asked for help, not that she already has privileges. makes me wonder what's up with that columnist.
    ItsMe89

    Comment by ItsMe89 (original poster) at 2:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • btw- this girl wasn't asked for another car at all, she was just asking for help with the teasing and bullying she was expecting.
    ItsMe89

    Comment by ItsMe89 (original poster) at 2:19 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Hoenstly, I did tell my sons to just ignore the bullying. Bullies are people who hate when others feel good about themselves, when others are comfortable with what they hav and when others don't care what others think. Bullies try to drag others to their level so the best thing to do is to remember that bullies are misreable people who dislike you simply because you are not miserable. You can't change them but you can just let their stupid comments go in one ear and out the other. Those people do not define you, they will not be in your life after high school or college and they are not people who are worth losing sleep over. The advice the columnist gave was wrong BUT the young lady needs to just let any bullying go in one ear and out the other because anyone who is bullying her is just a miserable person who wouldn't be happy with anything less that perfect and they do not like that she is fine with it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:42 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Wow that is just horrible.
    LiLJeni

    Answer by LiLJeni at 5:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2011


  • DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl. I go to a private school where everyone gets really nice cars for their 16th birthday. I have a 2001 compact economy car. It's nothing compared to the cars my peers get. I know if I start to drive this car when I turn 16, people will make fun of me -- behind my back and to my face. I don't want to be seen in it.I know I should be thankful I have a car at all, but it's hard when you know you'll be made fun of mercilessly. I told my parents that I don't want to get my license because of this problem, but I really do want it. I think the reason they're not getting me another car is because of financial difficulties, so it would be unfair of me to ask for a different one.
    Should I deal with the car I have and put up with the kidding, or wait two or three years to get my driver's license? -- DRIVING MYSELF CRAZY IN ST. LOUIS

    THIS IS THE QUESTION SENT IN TO DEAR ABBY....CON'T.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:43 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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