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7 Bumps

Oh, Hell No!!

I just recently discovered that my daughter's boyfriend is abusive. Her friends have told me that he's slapped her at a party. They told me that I should stop their relationship for the sake of my daughter. So, I told her that her friends told me, and she should break up with him. She just told me that he loved her despite being abusive. And that she likes him bexause he's 'damaged' and 'makes sense'. She makes it sound like he's an old tattered book. She's 17. What should I do?

 
mannyperry

Asked by mannyperry at 12:58 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 7 (200 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Well, don't say "I forbid you from seeing him" because saying that always has the opposite effect. I would look up articles and stories online of similiar situations for her to read. And then.....well the mom in me would jack that SOB up for even thinking he has the right to touch my child.
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • wow! that is a hard one, I would just keep an eye out for her and at the first sign of abuse call the police on him, no use trying to split them after knowing how she feels, this is a tough one.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:01 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • i would take her to an abused woman shelter and have some of the woman talk to her or a couselor who also deals with this the more you protest the more she will stay.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:01 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • You might be able to charge him with assault, if the friends witnessed this. However, that won't stop her from loving him, and she may take his side. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:02 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • squish the issue.......take her and go to his parents and explain what is going on, then take your daughter to women shelter and talk to the people (women) who live there so she can get a true propective on her life with an abuser........
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 1:03 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Hun teens "hate" their parents pretty much daily....doing something now to help her, whether she sees it or not, is the right thing for you to do. She will eventually thank you!
    Mom2Jack04

    Answer by Mom2Jack04 at 1:29 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Tricky... You can try to limit their time together but she will probably just sneak around to be with him. Women in abusive relationships often make excuses for their abuser. She will not leave until she's ready. Try to keep open communication with her and not be too judgemental. Make sure she knows you are there for her no matter what.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 1:04 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • You get your husband, brother, uncle...whoever to back that abusive punk up against the wall and let him know if he ever touches your daughter in an abusive way again there will be some consequences.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233); they will be able to help you with your daughter
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:30 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • i went through the same thing and at 17 you cant really do much but be there for her, if you forbid her it will only make matters worse, and remember at 17 its all true love, maybe you can look around for a nice guy to hook her up w/ to get her mind off of him,, lol good luck
    Asmash

    Answer by Asmash at 1:02 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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