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I dont want a divorce, but I think we may be headed that way..

My husband makes great money, I dont work. I choose not to. When we first married, he said it would be fine that I dont, but now I see that he doesnt even give me money to go get the "wants" in our lives. Like my kids need/want a haircut, but nope, not without complaints from him. He wont help pay for their school, I havent asked, but he hasnt offered. My kids need shoes, but he shopes at baby Gap for his kids, but for mine, he wants me to go to payless (no biggie, but i see favoritism already) I say I want a pedi, ehh he blows me off. I say I need medical insurance, he refuses to pay for it bc he see's money coming out of his pocket, for clothes, shoes, haircuts, and etc. I have applied to several jobs, with no luck. I dont want to work, but im going to have to if i want things for myself and kids.

I feel as though I shouldnt have to feel guilty using my husbands money, I should feel as though its mine as well. Like we're a team. I clean, cook, and have everything spotless by the time he is home. never reject him in the bedroom, so I know Im trying to be a good wife. (and want to be)

We just filed taxes, and well i have a situation that scared us into thinking his wages would be garnished, and he flipped. he said that I am a girl with alot of baggage. That he took me and my children in, with a dead beat father to them (doesnt pay cs), and I dont work, dont have an education (ex husband never let me go to school) dont know anything about myself, (my own fault) and that Im just a girl with tons of tire tracks.

He said if he would have known the deal about the judgement I have he wouldnt have put me on his taxes. But i DID tell him! he said that all these things are popping up, and doesnt know where its going to end. He gets mad and yells at me, and curses at me..

We have only been married 4 months! Its like, if he can barely deal with these issues, I couldnt imagine if we had bigger ones! Its like he regrets getting with me! It hurts....

If he had a choice of money and us, he would for sure choose money...

I dont know what more could happen, or how much more i can take....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:33 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • It sounds like he's using you for his own personal punching bag. Leave the situation, because he's adding more tire tracks to you by acting the way he is!!!!!
    Go on govt. assistance, do anything to take you and your children out of that situation (As long as it's not into another man's arms....because you just went from one bad relationship to the next).

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Sounds like you NEED to work. Get a job. Start saving.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:05 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • He sounds like a selfish jerk. I don't get why you don't want the divorce, except for the fact that you are dependent on him. You seem to have been dependent on the men in your life alot. It's time for you to take a stand and start supporting yourself. Try to do some courses (there are many places that offer free or aided studies) get yourself together and get a job. Be independent so if today or tomorrow your marriage falls apart, you can support your kids on your own. I think that is the most important thing you need in your life, and if the marriage survives it survives, if it doesn't at least you will..

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 4:08 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I'm in a situation somewhat similar to yours. Long story short we are in a buttload of debt which started since we were first married over 20 years ago. I've tried everything to get my husband to change his ways (it's all his debt, none of it is mine) but to no avail. I've finally come to the conclusion I need to get a job ASAP so I can help get all these credit card bills paid down.

    Answer by zboys at 4:14 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • to add to this, i was almost deathly ill ( it felt like it) and was crying and begging my husband to take me to the doctor to get antibiotics, and we got into a huge fight bc he said the money would be coming out of his pocket. True, but isnt my health more important than saving a penny??!! Its not like we are poor by any means!!!!

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 4:34 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Sorry honey but he seems like i total ass! you need to get your kids up out of there asap! nI would never let my fiance play favorites over my children! one is his and one was 4yrs prior to our son but if he ever though about trying to play my kids he would have another thing coming! My children come first above all else! being married is nice in theory but then again whats it worth if your not being treated right

    Answer by jazmya_mom at 4:24 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

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