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4 Bumps

11 year old girl question

Hi Ladies, I have a question about something my 11 year old daughter did this morning. I am struggling with how to handle it because I am really irritated but don't want to be too harsh:/ Here's what happened... She used a plastic comb to scratch up the finish on my bathroom sink!!! For no reason at all either and she says she doesn't know why. The damage is not awful but very noticeable. What would you do? Oh and she also lied to me for like half an hour about it and was screaming at me for not believing her. Good thing it's super obvious when she lies so I knew for sure she had done it. When she was finally ready to talk about it she had no apology or anything either.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:51 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I would talk with her about her action and let her know that since she lied about it you are no longer able to trust her like you could before. Revoke some privilages and make her use her allowance to pay a new sink. Destruction of property just for the heck of it is not acceptible.

    Answer by scout_mom at 5:27 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I would make her pay for a new sink. No allowance for a long while or she has to work it off. Do jobs around the house, that will teach her the value of things.

    Answer by LittleBirdFly at 4:53 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I am having trouble understanding how a plastic comb can damage the finish on a sink.
    Was she angry when she did it?
    The fact that she lied about it is the real problem.
    I think that she should have to clean the bathroom for a few days.
    She should have something taken away from her.
    She also should write I will not lie 50 times.
    She should have to write a report on the importance of being truthful and discuss it with you.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:57 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Is something goin gon in her life that she is reacting to and is having a hard time handling? School? At home? Is she getting enough one on one time with you and your SO? Sometimes they go for the negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention. Having said that, I once put deep marks in the wooden windowsill of my bedroom window for no reason.

    Answer by elizabr at 4:55 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Everyone seems to know a lot about pre-teens in this matter. It will take you about three more years to see a drastic change from her. I went through two so far and have to endore two more. First my kids dare not raise their voice at me. second, knowing the concequence of ones actions is one of the things I would speak to her about. The next would be verbalising your feelings to her. One last thing I would make her clean out all the items she find precious from her room. No sleeping over or sleeping out, no tv, no phone, and whatever else you feel needs to be taken away from her. You have to stick to this or else she will do worst things later. Good luck

    Answer by scmedicalasst at 5:46 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Since you know she did it punish her for doing it because she knows better and punish her for lying....make her stay inside and stay in her room without watching Tv or talking on the phone, no special treatment and no friends over.
    She can come out to have dinner with the family and back to her room and if she gets a attitude and doesn't want to eat then dont fuss with her just say ok leave her alone AND when she says she's hungry later say oh well dinner's over....have a good nights sleep...I bet she will think twice about lying or destroying something again.....DON'T GIVE IN

    Answer by dusty1962 at 12:35 PM on Feb. 21, 2011