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Just got a surprising phone call...

from DD's father. He's been in Illinois for the past year working. He wants to come visit her for a while this weekend. He doesn't pay child support and claimed that about 6 months ago he came with tons of clothes and gifts for her but we weren't home. I'm reluctant to let him come to visit, but she loves him so much and I don't want our past problems to get in the way of my daughter having a relationship with him. I don't know...what should I do? I think he's already on his way here from wherever he is (border of Missouri and Illinois).

Answer Question
 
proudmom2510

Asked by proudmom2510 at 5:09 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 in Relationships

Level 22 (13,998 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Maybe let him come in and visit for a bit. Not sure how old she is but she may not have much interest in him. I wouldn't let him leave with her at all.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:13 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I agree with skittles. I would also encourage this visit to be short and then if he wants to visit again make it a little bit longer. Not knowing how old your child is I would hate for them to get the idea this is going to become regular and then it not...
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:21 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • She is almost 4 and she asks about him all the time "Where's my daddy?" I just tell her I really don't know where he is.
    proudmom2510

    Comment by proudmom2510 (original poster) at 5:23 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • If your DD wants to see him, then you should let him come over to your home to visit with her. But, dont let him go anywhere alone with her. You never know.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 5:23 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • As long as he is not danger to you or her I would let him come and visit. You have to keep the problems you have between the two of you. It is not your child's fault. You said she loves him so much. I could not deny my children the right to see their father unless there was a serious reason. I pray that all goes well.
    Momxoxoxo

    Answer by Momxoxoxo at 5:24 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • – collapse
    What kind of mother wouldn't let her child see their father? Sounds like he doesn't hurt her nor does he abuse you so what is wrong with you? Child support has nothing to do with visitation of his child.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 5:53 PM on Feb. 19, 2011 (hidden) + expand

  • Ok, to bcauseimthemom, you have no right to ask what is wrong with me. He was abusive to me when she was a tiny baby, he hasn't been in the picture for almost 4 years, and he's threatened to take her to Mexico and never come back, has threatened me in many other ways before, thus I have my doubts. He's not a threat to our daughter, but as far as him and I are concerned, we hate each other, me hating him because he abused me and left us alone for another woman. Anybody else wanna ask me what is wrong with me?
    proudmom2510

    Comment by proudmom2510 (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • Nor does he have visitation rights. As far as DFS is concerned, I have full custody of her.
    proudmom2510

    Comment by proudmom2510 (original poster) at 6:06 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • I can understand you don't want your dd not to have any contact w/her father, maybe you and her could meet him at a public place like McDonalds for say an hour? Good luck and hope everything turns out for you and esp for your little one!!!
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 6:20 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

  • If he is on his way then let him in. If he doesn't pay cs I'd fix that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:31 PM on Feb. 19, 2011

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