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Couples counsoling?

Me and my bf are 18 , we live together and have a beautiful five month old baby girl. Things are getting rough, and breaking up is the last thing I want to do. We have so many problem but love each other too much. I've suggested several ways to get each persons point accross as yelling each other doesnt always help and we cant fight in front of our DD. He disreguarded all of my idea and said it was stupid. So I got over it. But now Im upset again. He pays me no attention and acts like he doesnt care about me anymore. He's a mommas boy and calls his mother every day for at LEAST an hour, she sends him hand written letter to him almost every day, and all they say is 'I love you hope your happy, and your my lil boy" It like what moms send a four year old to school with. When their on the phone he enjoys everything they say, and yet wont care to talk to me, the person he lives with and is dating who had their baby. Him AND his mom need to cut the cord! I understand a normal relationship but HE IS AN ADULT WITH HIS OWN FAMILY AND LIFE. I cant deal with this. I feel like a stranger to him. I suggested counsoling before but he refused and told me there was NO WAY he would ever do that. At this point Idk what else to do, I want to bring it up again but he really wont like it. What should I do ? :(

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Glouii

Asked by Glouii at 12:20 AM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (120 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Stand your ground and tell him either lets go to counseling or you can get the heck out, sweetie love is a very powerful and wonderful thing but no one deserves to be treated this way. you get exactly what you put up with if you continue to let him treat you like this things will only get worse and you will never be happy

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 12:27 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • If hes not willing to try ur probably better off by yourself it sucks to say it but sometimes its hard to face the truth and its even harder when u have a baby but u have to do wats best for u n the baby!!! When my husband and I were having problems I shot down the idea of counseling at first because i was like i dnt want ne one judging me and being in my business but then a week or so later I was like I love this man with all of my heart and I want to be with him but at the time it was hard so i told him i had changed my mind and would like to give it a shot!! it helped on somethings but there are still thing that we both need work on but thats in every relationship! just remember if you guys do go dnt expect things to change over night because things take time. GOOD LUCK
    Alyson_Torres09

    Answer by Alyson_Torres09 at 12:34 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • First off I just want to start by saying that you are a very mature 18 year old. Most people that are young and start a family just want to throw in the towel when times get tough. I'm 32 and just had my first baby with my husband and even we have rough days. You absolutely need to bring it up again. The most important person is your daughter and you and your bf need to do whatever it takes to have a healthy relationship. On the flip side, if he refuses and still wants his relationship to be with his mom and not you, get out. You want your daughter to grow up to see how a woman should get treated. You could be affecting her life down the road if you stay. Good luck to you.
    rpetullo

    Answer by rpetullo at 12:40 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I would not try to limit his relationship with his mother. If he feels cornered to choose, he will choose his mom.

    You have every right be involved in changing his relationship with you, but his relationship with his mother is his life. He is only 18 as are you and he needs her support just like you need his.

    Don't concentrate on their relationship, but on your own. Use *I* statements not *You* statements that will make him defensive.

    You two have a lot on your plate at 18....just keep talking not yelling and see if you can have his mom or someone else watch the baby once in a while so you can go out just the two of you or even just spend a couple hours at home alone.

    Good luck!!
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:43 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Approach him again about counseling during a time of calm, NOT when you're fighting.

    If he refuses to go, go by yourself!!

    Good luck sweetie.
    5150mama

    Answer by 5150mama at 4:23 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Honey your are young and not the first girl to have a baby but if he is still that attached to his mom he needs to move back home, until he comes into his own and grows up his mommy will always be his first love and he's young yet and his brain isn't understanding yet. Women mature quicker than men so it will take him time.
    You will have to deal with it or go your ways because I see no change at this young point in his life...18 is young for this big responsibility you both have taken on. I wish you all the luck
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 12:53 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

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