One idea....my niece has a kindness chart in her home. The kids have to do the things on the chart and they get points for doing them. After a week or so they get a day out to the park, go out for ice cream, have a special meal, go to a museum, etc. It has worked wonders for them.
Also, I saw on Supernanny that she had the whole family play board games and do it with teams. Alternate the teams so the boys are team mates once in awhile. This will foster cooperation. Lastly, make sure they get enough one on one time with you and your SO. Plus praise when they do things right. This goes a long way to making them feel special and lessen tensions. GL!
at 11:06 AM on Feb. 20, 2011