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Can you hate someone "sometimes"? I really need input, ladies, please.

My dh told me this morning that he hates me sometimes. In my opinion, if you love someone, you can't hate them "sometimes". I just need opinions. Can you truly love someone sometimes and hate them other times? I'm having a really hard time dealing with this. I feel like he just crushed my heart. I would never say that, let alone feel it. I can deal with a lot of things, but I don't think I deserve to be told I'm hated, especially by my husband and especially when I try to do everything I can to make him happy. But if I make one mistake or say one thing he doesn't like, I'm this horrible, spiteful, immature person. I don't think I can handle it much longer. 95% of the time, things are great, but if they're not he's incredibly hurtful.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:00 AM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • sounds like your dh has some growing up to do still ......

    Answer by cara124 at 11:03 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • That was a very hurtful thing to say. Maybe he meant to say that he hates certain things you do sometimes. I would ask for clerification & let him know how much that hurt you to hear. Then hopefully you can concentrate on the other 95% & kiss & make up :)

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 11:04 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • he sounds like he was just trying to hurt you. sometimes i dont like the way my dh acts or the things he does but i dont hate him

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:06 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • He may not 'hate' you but might be so upset and filled with hurt, anger thoes feelings be manifest to feel like hate. I feel in my heart sometimes that I hate my daughters father but I really dont hate him I just get so angry sometimes that I feel in my heart that I hate him so much.

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 11:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Maybe he doesn't HATE you but really dislikes certain things. Maybe he has a different definition of hate than you do not THINK like women at all.

    Answer by natrlvr2 at 11:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • What an amazing a$$hole...

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 11:07 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • That's messed up, and juvenile. Perhaps he should have waited till he was more mature to get married. I could never hate my Husband, ANYtime..I could hate His actions (if He did anything bad enough, which He doesn't) - but never Him.

    Answer by -AJ at 11:08 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • ~*Smiles*~... it isn't YOU he hates... but what you "DO"

    Answer by MommaClark3 at 11:11 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Hate is a strong word that people who are immature sometimes use too much. I cannot stand seeing the word HATE being used like its nothing. I know what true hate is and am just as guilty as anyone else of using it lightly. Anyway I dont think he truly HATES you because if he did he wouldnt be around. He probably doesnt LIKE some things you do but that is true of even the best relationships. I would tell him that he shouldnt use the word hate so lightly, and if you are doing things he doesnt like then he should simply tell you without trying to hurt you.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:20 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • my typos make it seem like I cant speak english well. Lol. sorry

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 11:20 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

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