Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Am I going to completely damage my daughter?

I left her father over 3 months ago because he's controlling and has been abusive to me. There is a guy I work with, that has been my best friend for a year. We've been "intimately" talking for about 3 months..how am I supposed to introduce my 2 1/2 year old to him? They've met a few times and we've all hung out..but we are getting serious and my daughter's father thinks i'm a bad mother for letting her around him all the time. She absolutely loves him and he loves her like his own daughter. He thinks I'm trying to replace him, but I just want us all to feel like a family. I don't think this is going to cause any harm to her, she knows I'm happier, she's told me she notices. Am I doing anything wrong?

Answer Question
 
sunshineemommy

Asked by sunshineemommy at 11:24 AM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 16 (3,085 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • No, you will NOT damage your daughter and whoever told you that is crazy and mean. How is having someone who loves and cares for your daughter abusive? I would say her father being abusive is what will harm her. He is still emotinally abusing you and YOU NEED TO STOP RESPONDING!!!!!!! He is no longer a part of your life and can NOT harm you anymore, unless you let him.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 11:27 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Sounds like your going about it the right way. I'm sure he's just jealous.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 11:28 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • My personal opinion is that I will not bring any man around my daughter unless we are serious and not just thinking about getting serious.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 11:30 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • No u are not doing anything wrong. It just that men are conrolling. After u left him he still want to controll u. Don't let him affect u in his words.
    lelly1019

    Answer by lelly1019 at 11:30 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I'm with KayGia0704; my daughter would come first.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • My daughter is ALWAYS first. I just want her to see us in a normal, happy relationship. She has never seen that before. He is so good to us both, and I plan on this being very long term. I just need some encouragement, so I don't let her father's words make me feel like I'm a bad mother when I know I'm not.
    sunshineemommy

    Comment by sunshineemommy (original poster) at 11:33 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • If you only left her father 3 months ago, it's too soon.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 11:41 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • You should not be trying to make a new family for your daughter. She just lost her other family. Family is not something that comes and goes. See your new bf on your own. Your daughter's family is you her mother and her father. The other guy is just your boyfriend.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 11:46 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Take yur tim don't rush.
    lelly1019

    Answer by lelly1019 at 11:46 AM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Honestly I wouldn't introduce him to her anymore. There is no reason to yet. First of all you started making it with the new guy for 3 months and 3 months ago you left her father. You and her haven't had time to heal completely. I have three children and had left the father and never brought my children around the men i dated until over a year it was almost two actually. The child would tell there father for one and I didn't want to hear his bull crap and name calling, and then my children needed the relationship with there father I was the one that wanted a relationship with someone else because i thought it was for the best. Now Me and my spouse has been together for 4 years and now he has been around my children for over 2 years and their relationship is growing and getting strong.  The damage would be relationship building

    kalynskorner

    Answer by kalynskorner at 12:01 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN