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MIL treats my kids differently

Okay this is driving me nuts!! My mother in law takes my 2 nieces and 1 nephew ALL the time but will NEVER take my kids. She never comes over to see my kids and always spending time buying them presents etc and my kids don't even get time with grandma it's driving me nuts that my kids are getting treated different. I want to know why but don't want to start a huge fight. How would you bring this up and be as civil as possible?(didn't know what category to put this under lol.)

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Heidikans

Asked by Heidikans at 1:14 PM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Relationships

Level 20 (8,357 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • She might not realize. Are they different in age? They are different people. Money should be equal.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I have this problem too. My MIL only likes the girl grandkids.
    I finally decided I don't want her around if she doesn't want to be.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 1:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I'd just be point blank but civil and tell her she makes a big difference and you want to know why, and your willing to try to resolve issue but otherwise, you wil accept th efacts and find others to play granma for best interests of your kids, they dont deserve to be treated less than by anyone.
    kingkongsmom

    Answer by kingkongsmom at 1:18 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • i dont know why they do this but my MIL is similar. she pays more attention to my one niece than our 3 daughters. i am still trying to accept it but i no longer ask her for anything and decide she can come to us if she wants to be a part of their lives. i will no longer extend the effort just to be shit on. my kids deserve better.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:21 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I have heard and seen this many times. In my experience the kids who were treated better were the children of her (MIL) daughter. In the few instances that it wasn't a daughter the MIL just made it clear they didn't like the DIL. Sometimes it happens if the kids have 'issues" It's wrong whatever the reason. Don't confront anyone on it. People have the right to feel how they feel. Personally, I would shield my kids from that person. As they get older they will pick up on it.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:51 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I'm in the same boat. My MIL treats my kids like crap but my 2 nieces and nephew are treated like royalty. That bothered me for a while but I have come to this conclusion. Me and my husband (her son) are together and have 4 beautiful kids. My SIL (her daughter) has 3 kids by 2 guys and is a single mom. My SIL is a big time fuck up and I think my MIL just feels bad for their situation and doesn't know another way to express it. It's like she thinks, my son and his wife and kids are fine and don't need my help but my daughter is a fuck up and needs more. It's really dysfunctional and screwed up, but my husbands entire family is!
    mamax4our

    Answer by mamax4our at 1:57 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • my MIL is like this to. she does not like my kids but the thing is she has never gotten to know my kids ever. It is always her other sons boys etc. His one son is the same age as my daughter. my kids have picked up on it and ask why she does not love them and why does she buy birthday cards gifts for the boys but she always forgets theirs. It breaks my heart. MIL ex hubby has even stated that he asked her to take the girls at different times when they were married and she would say no lets take the boys. he is so glad he has gotten to know the girls.
    WildCat73

    Answer by WildCat73 at 2:00 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I've noticed in some families that the favorite grandchild/ren are often the children of the child that MIL was closest to when they were small. I didn't live with my mother as a child, she spent WAY more time with my sister, and she is a little closer to my sister's little girl. I don't hold it against her. But also, my niece needed some extra people in her corner at one point, so that was a factor as well. Don't take it too personally, and you COULD always just casually bring it up to her. I would.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 2:38 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • i would tell your husband about so he can talk to his mom about it cause those are his kids to
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:40 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

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