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How come my boyfriend sometimes does this?

Whenever we make plans, we talk but then before the actual day sometimes I'd wait forever for him to respond. He usually just texts me and we'll confirm the plans but now it's like he hasn't said anything about it yet. Then when he does call me he'd ask me how I'm doing first. I answer with, "I'm okay" but really I wasn't with feeling 'up in the air'. Should I tell him how I feel whenever he does that to me? What should I do?

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Asked by decemberlove at 1:23 PM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I think communication is the absolute key. If you are not telling him things he is doing that are upsetting your or affecting you in some way, he may never know. And you'll be harboring bad feelings due to it. always talk things out whether they be good or bad :)

    Answer by IzysMomma at 1:28 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • It says to me that he is really not that interested in doing the things that you like or important to you. I can also tell you that if that is the case, he is not likely to change. So if this is something that really bothers you, you can lay it all out for him one time. Then if he does it again, I would simply declare him "not a match" and move on with my life. The behavior that he is displaying is a good sign that he is pretty self-centered and more interested in himself and what you like. I could be wrong, but you definitely need to test my theory!!!

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Thanks for the responses. The idea of what we'll do together for this weekend is going outdoors. Now he's an outdoorsy kind of guy, so I think he'd like that. However, there are sometimes that he does this and sometimes he doesn't. When he doesn't, then we'd know what we'll be doing and then the plans would follow through. However, those times when he does this is that he'd call or text the actual day and then those days before I was feeling lots of suspense and sometimes I feel like ending it. You are right about talking to him. I think I will tell him how I feel today. That is IF I even get a call or text! Now I know how being in a relationship is sometimes... = Complicated.

    Comment by decemberlove (original poster) at 1:46 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • i have the same problem! i hate it when men dont respond its like 'hello is anyone in there!"
    i talked to my partner about it and his name on my phone is even "joaquin just wait" because of all the times ill text or call and just end up waiting. im trying to be patient but it feels so disrespectful sometimes! as if he wants to see all his possibilities first before he decided im his first choice to hang out with. at least hes not breaking any promises by flaking out. talk to him. when i did, my partner said he thinks before he says. also i noticed he only responds if i have something to offer or if im being loving. if its neutral or im mad, he just ignores it. ive had this problem for 3 years now and it hasnt gone away, only changed a little after all these years. sometimes ill ask a question and he doesnt answer, so i ASK AGAIN. he is adhd so when he doesnt take his meds, its worse. it could be that with your guy too

    Answer by Liz4Life at 2:59 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • What I regret is not saying how I felt the first time it happened. Like they say, "No one would know what they're doing only after it's pointed out." Whenever my boyfriend and I makes plans, we say (time/place...) You know? But other times it's like the plans are partially set and that is when I feel like I'm being played. Like I don't matter. That kind of thing. I understand what you mean though. Sometimes I feel like I'm not important in his his friends are more important. Sometimes I want to end the relationship because I don't deserve being treated like this. My best friends would tell me, "If the guy really truly likes you, then he will not stop wanting to be with you"
    (sighs) I just don't want to be single anymore. I guess in a way I'm putting up with this flaw.

    Comment by decemberlove (original poster) at 3:08 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Life is too short to settle. I was just with someone who I loved but couldn't show he loved me back.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 5:26 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • yeah you should tell him how you feel when that happens

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 8:32 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I haven't had the chance to talk to him about how I feel when that happens yet. But I will soon!

    Comment by decemberlove (original poster) at 3:45 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • i agree comunication is the key you need to talk to him

    Answer by SundayRose2011 at 5:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

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