Ok, so in August when school started (2nd grade) my DD wentto a sleep over bday party for a new girl (let's call her X) in school. I sort of had this weird feeling that the mom didn't really like me when we had the parents 'get together' for the party. She wasn't rude or anything, she was polite, but I got a weird vibe from her towards me, but I just thought I may not have been as engaged in conversation as the other parents (I feel a little awkward around a lot of new people sometimes). I also have this thing about (only because it happens ALL THE TIME) how people treat me, or behave towards me because I look like a 16 year old girl. (I'm 28 BTW.) Anyway, a few weeks later my DD wanted to have another sleep over there, I told her I would talk to this other mom, I called and she didn't answer (no big deal) the next day she comes home sad because the girls mom told her DD that mine can't go over there because she's to loud and wakes up the baby. (granted, my daughter IS very loud, but she is also very well behaved.) This kinda pissed me off, but I chose to ignore the rudeness and invited the girl to stay with us. They had plans. Anyway, my DD and her best friend (let's call her Y) spend almost every weekend together, the parents and us kinda switch off, and playdates during the week. For the most part they're inseparable, and the parents have become good friends of me and my husband.
SO THEN... my daughter has been coming home every once in a while since Xmas break upset because X is kinda mean to her about her friendship with Y. I understand that with 3 girls there tends to be a little jealousy. So, I tried again to invite X to come out with my DD and Y to playdates or sleep overs. Her mom always had some excuse. The last few weeks it seems like almost every other day my DD comes home upset because X is being really mean and saying Y says she doesn't really like my DD but the parents make them be friends (which I know is total BS) and tries to force Y to choose. This was REALLY pissing me off, but I tried to help my daughter handle the situation because I know throughout school this will keep happening in life. AND THEN she comes home crying because X said her mom told her she shouldn't be friends with my DD!!! I assumed that X was probably telling her mom things to make her think that. Even still, I tried to get a hold of the mom, but her number is changed.
Let me also add that my DD and Y tell us everything, but the other parents and I evesdrop to hear the entire story, and they constantly talk amongst themselves about how X is being mean, unfair and jealous.
Then Friday my DD comes home saying her teacher said the 3 girls are not allowed to hang out AT ALL during school hours!!! I asked Y's mom if she knew anything about it and she said their teacher called them to the school Friday because Y was super crying because X gave her a note forcing her to chose between her and my DD!! Totally bullying Y!! So, Y's parents said they were trying to get a hold of X's mom and they were gonna take Y to the school counsellor to work on the situation. Y's mom text X's mom to tell her to have her DD stop bullying her DD (after numerous texts asking to talk about the situation) Eventually yesterday, X's mom replied texting that it was about time there was some adult intervention, that kids are kids but they still need supervision, and that she called the teacher and asked that the girls not be allowed to hang around each other during school!
1st of all, it would have been nice if the teacher had filled ME in on the situation and I didn't have to hear it from my DD (mind you, I'm always involved with my DD teacher, conferences, and my DH and I help with the testing, art fair, 30 gingerbread houses for the class etc...) so she knows she can talk to me and that I've requested that she talk to me about anything regarding my DD so we can fix whatever problem there may be.
So, I am also going to go to the school and have my DD talk with the school counsellor and I DO NOT think it's fair that my DD and Y can not hang out just because this girl is jealous and her mom TOLD her not to be friends with my DD!! I think this is so effed up, and I think her mom pretty much instigated this whole situation, even if she did so without knowing... but STILL!!
So, my question is, after a super long story explaining everything... what should I do?? My goodness, they're only in 2ND GRADE!! WTF?? I'm so mad, I want to go to this girls house and chew her mom out, but I don't want her to call the cops saying I'm harassing her... AHHHHH!!! WHAT DO I DO?!
I'd really appreciate any suggestions. THANKS cafe moms!!
Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 2:56 PM on Feb. 20, 2011
Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 2:51 PM on Feb. 20, 2011
Answer by Rosehawk at 4:08 PM on Feb. 20, 2011