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4 Bumps

At what age do you think children should be going to a Funeral service?

I tried to explain to my 6yr old DD we had to go to NH for my Nana's Funeral Service & she just said "Why do you have to do that? Don't you just yard sale her??" 

I am not going to take her this time, she was not really close to my Nana... but I was wondering others thoughts on this....

 
Crafty26

Asked by Crafty26 at 2:17 PM on Feb. 20, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 44 (186,779 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • Kids need to say goodbye, too. If it is someone they are close too, it may be good to bring them. If they are not close, it is neither here, nor there.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:33 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I wasn't allowed to go to my grandmas funeral and it took me much longer to except the death of her than it did my parents and the others who went to the funeral. I literally thought she was still alive for month after she died. If it is someone the child is close to I say she should go to the funeral, if not she doesn't need to.
    dragonqueen

    Answer by dragonqueen at 2:25 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • My kids went to my father's service and they were aged 9, 5, 3. They were close to him. If it would have been open casket, I probably would have been reluctant because I want them to remember my father for who he was.
    Izsarejman

    Answer by Izsarejman at 2:44 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • We have been taking our children to funerals and viewings since they were 3-4 years old. Death is a part of life and it's important for children to be exposed to these situations.
    Bethsunshine

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 2:22 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I have pretty much always take my children to funerals. They don't always sit with us, sometimes in the church nursery, but they do attend. My oldest was 3 when my family lost my grandmother, my father and my mother-in-law, and she went to the viewing for my grandmother and all the services.

    Death is a very real part of life and while I chose not to shelter my children from the reality of life and death, I also don't think they always need to know how someone died, especially if that death occurred at the hands of another.
    SnapdragonSMT

    Answer by SnapdragonSMT at 2:26 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • my oldest is almost 7, and I would not take him. They will see that stuff when they are older. I see no rush in taking a child. Yeah it is a part of life, but so are alot of other things I wouldnt put my babies through.
    LuvMyMedic3ID

    Answer by LuvMyMedic3ID at 2:27 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I think it really depends on the child. Their age isn't as much of a consideration as their understanding is. Will their going help teach them about death and to bring them closure or is it going to really have no affect. If they are too young to understand going to a room full of people who are upset and crying could just scare them if they don't really grasp whats going on.
    BriannaJeanM

    Answer by BriannaJeanM at 2:30 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • My daughters first funeral (my grandfathers) was when she was 3.5 yrs. She understood death before my grandfather passed because my mom had a cat that passed away, so I talked to her about it when that happened. Death is important to teach kids, same as life, but it's really up to you how you want to explain it (religiously, or otherwise).
    Nanixh

    Answer by Nanixh at 2:32 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I don't know, but I'm giving you a bump. I'm afraid I'm going to have to deal with this soon.
    JulieJacobKyle

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • In both me and my husband's family it would be considered rude to not bring the kids. My kids all went to their first funeral as babies/toddlers. Heck my oldest dd's first funeral was at like 8 1/2 weeks (my mom died). The next one was my fil when they were 2 1/2, 18 months and 5 months. We missed my husband's gramma's funeral and his uncle's funeral. They would have been around 5-7 years old at the time. We would have gone but we were living on the other side of the country. With the uncle they got to visit him in the hospital 2 days before he died but we had to leave (hubby had to get back to work) so we couldn't afford for him to take more time off to go to the funeral.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 2:30 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

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