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How do I tell her no thank you?

I am getting married next year and the planning process has been fun, except for some small problems with the in laws. When my fiance and i decided to set a date finally, we were really excited, his mom was not. But after a couple of weeks she told him that they (his parents) wanted to pay for the wedding, he is an only child. I am very grateful that they are picking up most of the big bills, but my parents are chipping in too and so am i. My future in laws want to make the wedding cake. they make horrible cakes, and the frosting is even worse. (they make frosting out of crisco and powdered sugar). How do i tell her that i am wanting to order the cake from a bakery and pay for it myself with out hurting her feelings. she has her heart set on it, but i want a good, pretty cake. any suggestions will be helpful. thanks.

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calibeka

Asked by calibeka at 9:45 PM on Nov. 18, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • have 2 cakes :-P
    Crystal42683

    Answer by Crystal42683 at 9:46 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • "no thank you", just kidding.
    Say that you have always wanted a specific cake (even if you havent) and go from there... make it elaborate if you need to lol... I would say just tell her you want it your way, but its easy for me to say that when I am not in your situation... Good luck...
    LovinMyMikayla

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 9:47 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • I would tell them you have your heart set on one particular cake that you saw in a magazine when you were a little girl and always dreamed about having it at your wedding...lol...nothing wrong with a little white lie if it saves their feelings and gets you out of crisco frosting!
    kabbot01

    Answer by kabbot01 at 9:48 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • do you mind lying. you can say that when you mentioned to your mother or whoever that she was planning on doing the cake you can tell that they were going to surprise you with one and they already put down a deposit that they would loose if they backed out and that they already put down at least half for it that can range from $150 -300 depending on price and you'd hate to have them loose that money. i think she would see the logic in that. if you don't want to lie then tell your fiance to tell them he doesn't like their cakes and knows you wouldn't either or you just tell her sorry but i don't like your cake. last option let her do it and later tell your children how awful the cake was. you should check out my cake. i'll post a pic. it was beautiful for only 150.00.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 9:50 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • go ahead and order it and dont say anything. then when she asks you what you want, just tell them you've already ordered and paid for it and it's non refundable. then ask her to make the grooms cake so she feels better. hey, maybe she will make a red velvet armadillo.
    teri4lance

    Answer by teri4lance at 9:59 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • tell her that you attended a friend's wedding and fell in love with the cake at her reception. and that you already went to the bakery and have picked out a specific design/ flavor/ etc. just make sure you find a bakery before the confrontation. lol. so that you can be prepared when she questions you about it
    IGotLuckyInKy

    Answer by IGotLuckyInKy at 10:26 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • Let her make it, not many people eat the cake at wedding anyways. I do banquets and most people don't even touch the cake.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 PM on Nov. 18, 2008

  • This will only be one of the many, many compromises that you will make in your soon to be married life. Pick your battles and this may be one that is easier given to her.

    What is the worse that can happen? You can always share the hilarous "horror cake story" with your kids in 30 years! ( it can be a great example to your children as to why they should never allow granny to make a cake! lol)
    rcbrown

    Answer by rcbrown at 12:38 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I say be straightforward and tell her you're getting your own cake. Thanks but no thanks! You don't owe an explanation, it's your wedding. The sooner you set boundaries and be straightforward, the better relationship you will have with them. The worst thing you can do is make excuses, just tell her that you got this one. If you're feeling generous, offer for her to make the crisco dessert for the wedding shower, or rehearsal dinner.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

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