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How much freedom do you think a 16 1/2 yr old needs, I am pretty protective of my son but trying to give him more freedom.
I get scared when he's not home because of this crazy world so I try to keep him home where I feel safe and when he does go out I call him more than once in a night, is this normanl or am I being over protective.

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Asked by dusty1962 at 4:02 PM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 17 (3,831 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i'm not sure you can be overprotective...sounds like you have a good balance. calling him isn't hurting anything, and your calls may be a reminder for him to keep himself out of trouble. trust that mommy gut!! ;o) xo

    Answer by liteofmine71 at 4:04 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • It is normal to be over protective in this day an age, what I did, was have friends come over my house so I could keep an eye on him, and he got so use to doing this that now as an adult he still does the same. It does not bother me because his friends are awesome, they clean after themselves never leaving a mess for me to pick up.

    Answer by older at 4:05 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Let him tell you if calling him a few times a night is bothering him. You don't want him to be made fun of or anything by his friends. That would be my only concern if it was my son.

    Answer by elizabr at 5:13 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Try texting rather then calling so you dont embarrass him with his friends, you can even have him send you picture messages of who hes with and his friends wouldnt know it wasnt just another school mate. It's what my best friend does with her 17 year old daughter.

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 7:19 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Yeah he does get embrassed and mad at me when I call so I have called less and started texting him and it actually works....image but it's still hard when hes not home, so now when he's out I just say stay out of trouble and call me at least once and let me know your ok. So far no trouble..

    Comment by dusty1962 (original poster) at 7:22 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • If your son has never gotten into any real trouble then he has most likely earned your trust and respect. Give him a little rope but let him know that if he abuses your trust he will loose that line of communication/trust and go back to the other way

    Answer by wildwiccan83 at 7:25 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I am over protective, just ask my 16 yr old. I am trying to be better about it and learn to trust him more. but its hard. I do trust him, i just worry about him being with others that drink or do drugs and it scares me because i know how i was at that age. I agree text instead of call and let him know he better answer when you do but do not go overboard.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 7:52 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I agree with the texting, I do this with both my boys when they are out with friends. I also don't think there is anything wrong with being overprotective as long as there is a good balance. My boys have quite a bit of freedom but I also live in a very small town where everyone watches out for everyone else's children.
    One thing I suggest if you're not already, keep the communication open. Ask him how his night went, who they were with, what they did, what happened. My boys are very open with me about parties and their choice to go, leave or not go. My oldest is very good at picking friends with common goals and interests (my younger is still learning). Keep talking I think this will help build your level of comfort, I know it does for me.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:43 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Forgot to add, maybe consider having a couple nights where your son has his friends over, so you can get to know them as well. That helps in trust building too, my boys have pretty good friends who are also very open with myself and my husband. Knowing their parents helps as well. I consider my son's friends part of our family, and trust them which makes it easier to trust when my children our out with their friends. The world is scary, but trusting the boys to make the right decisions helps the comfort level when they are away from home.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 2:45 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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