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2 Bumps

My 9yr old thinks she is grown

What are some productive punishments? I have grounded and done time outs. I WILL NOT spank. That is an absolute last resort & for major offences only. I am tired of the rude comments, eye rolls, sighs & mumbling behind my back. Im feeling like she doesn't respect me anymore. Any suggestions?

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Asked by ChaoticSoul at 5:27 PM on Feb. 20, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 5 (87 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • We used to take away THE most important thing to them as punishment. They got one warning. Pick your battles. I would make sure eye contact was made and ignore some of the attitude if it was minor. As long as the point was understood I was OK with that.

    Answer by elizabr at 5:31 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • I had the same problem when my daughter was 9. I made them empty their rooms and bring the items to the garage. As I did this I told them the steps I was will to take in order for them to show me respect. If you see no improvement open the garage and have a garage sale making her do all the work. Every step make it a little harder. This is just to show her that you are will to go the extra mile. Let me know if I helped I have more effective punishments.

    Answer by dubewife at 6:50 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • Choose your battles! Is eye rolling really a punishable defense?

    Have you talked with her about the changes going on in her body? Those hormones can make a nine year old feel crazy, long before there are physical signs of puberty.

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:39 PM on Feb. 20, 2011

  • i do spank but for complaining , whining and similar behaviour I send her to her room and tell her not to come out until she has got her face and mouth in order.

    Answer by janet116 at 3:00 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • take away her most important possession let it be a phone her computer etc.

    Answer by Christmaslver68 at 6:22 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • My daughter is 3 years youbger than yours, however, I recently started reading a book titled "Ten days to a Less Defiant Child" and I'm already have way through it. I have started using the suggestions that are in the book and I do have to say that I do see that my child's defiance has gotten a bit better. don't get me wrong, it will take time, but I noticed that when I'm calm with her and show more patience, she is more willing to cooperate with what I ask her to do. I am still working on ways to help my child, but I know it gets better with time. Good luck and I hope everything works out.

    Answer by cocobrown28 at 7:51 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I think choose your battles is crap im sorry but they need to listen put her in the corner take stuff away and don't let her go out well shes 9 so im sure shes not going out yet but i would just start taking stuff away from her if shes alowed on the phone i would take that away from her but don't choose your battles soon she will learn what can slide and what can't

    Answer by Tarrahs2011 at 12:19 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Take a privillage dd just this last week got grounded for namecalling (not going to get into details) and I grounded her from the computer, going to friends houses, or having friends over and no school dances for the next 3 weeks.

    Answer by djh0505 at 12:21 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Im having the same issues with my dd who is 7....i let the eyerolling and muttering go....sometimes its not worth the argument.....the rude comments are punishable by having things taken away....and when all else fails....i make her sit on a chair in the middle of the kitchen during our family dinner time....she may not participate until she kills her to sit and hafta watch us all playing and having a good time before dinner....ive only done that twice and since then the rude comments are less and less......just remember to pick ur battles...she might not have the vocabulary to make u understand how she feels so she says things that get a rise out of dd said she tries to upset me when she is upset so someone feels like her.....were working on ways for her to communicate with me when shes upset......sry so long....hope this helps

    Answer by macksmom716 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I understand you completely. I will not tolerate my 9 year old daughter rolling her eyes, stumping away from me, mumbling behind my back or anything remotely related to being disrespectful. She's a child and she needs to stay in her place and having any type of attitude when I lay rules down, is a definite NO-NO in my house. Yes, true and all, she's entitled to feel angry and be upset over decisions that I make related to her but she can do it in the privacy of her room and NOT in my face and I better NOT hear it. I don't spank my children but I have a certain tone in my voice that will shake my house down and when my kids hear that voice, they know I mean business. If situations get too out of hand, I lock it down tight. Meaning - privileges get taken away. But usually, I don't resort to that because once I've sent my child to thier room to think about what they've done, they come back and we talk it out.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:03 PM on Feb. 22, 2011

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