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Would you be mad? What would you do about it? (Vent)

My husbands oldest brother is getting married. Today was the bridal shower for his future wife, however, My mother in law and I were not invited. I live in another state, so she may have thought I would not be able to attend anyway, but had I known about the shower I may have been able to make arrangements to be there. My feelings are not hurt I'm just a little perturbed. My mother in law on the other hand is devastated and I think understandably so. My brother in law has had some issues with his mom since she divorced his dad about three years ago... but this is a little over the top! Not to mention that my father in law's girlfriend and their third brother's girlfriend were invited. Am I right to be angry with my brother in law and his future wife? What should I do about these feelings?


Asked by Anon344 at 1:08 AM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,352 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You most certainly are right to be both mad and hurt. It shouldn't have been assumed that you couldn't or wouldn't have attended the shower. I would definitely express my feelings to my brother-in-law, as well as to his future wife. I would send a card with a monetary gift to show you have more respect and class than they do. Your mother-in-law should do the same, if she desires. Put the "ball" in their court; let them be the ones to experience guilt and shame as you've experienced hurt and anger. Do so out of respect and love for your husband; it's still his family. Follow what God teaches us, "turn the other cheek."

    Answer by rosiemendo at 8:52 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • It's not so much myself I am angry for it is my MIL. Who does that to their mom or MIL to be?

    Comment by Anon344 (original poster) at 1:14 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I would be perturbed too. A marriage is a great opportunity for new beginnings, sounds like your BIL is dredging up the past.


    Answer by pnwmom at 1:30 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • she has every right to be hurt and angry and for you to not be invited they probably just figured you were to far away

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:33 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • i dont think that it was right of them to not invite you! maybe send them a card or something saying you wish you couldve been there or something. as for the mother...that was wrong no matter what shes the mom!!!! she has every right to be angery

    Answer by mama106 at 1:47 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • this if probably just the beginning. if you BIL has problems with his mother, then there will probably be more problems over time.
    I guess I would just look at this as being a one day thing, and a small part of the big picture.
    do you know the bride well? can you talk to her about it?

    when I had my wedding, there were some people who were mad because they weren't invited. Turned out they were but their invitation got lost in the mail!

    there could be a different side to all this. for all you know the bride may have wanted to invite you and your MIL but the groom is saying no. I'd see about speaking to the bride if it was me personally.


    Answer by ItsMe89 at 9:09 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Look at it this way you weren't coming anyways who cares, u saved urself a $ for a trip and gift.

    Answer by amparoortega at 1:12 AM on Feb. 21, 2011