Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Sticky Situation Part II

If you've helped me with ?'s Ive had in the past then u will have a better idea of what my ? is.....Braden's biological Father has had a bad track record but has supposedly changed, everyone deserves a 2nd chance and he has always wanted to be in his sons life i just never let him that was my fault. I have already decided to move things along with My son & his real father but before I have them meet I need to know what I should do about the bond that Braden and T(my HS sweetheart who I'm no longer with) have made. He took him on as his own son and braden ADORES T! To him that is his Daddy. Ive been showing Braden pics of his Biological Dad and tell him who he is and he kinda gets it bc he is very smart for 3yrs old. But I don't know how to do this: Should I take T out of the picture while Braden is still young? Is my son supposed to have 2 Dads? What if he doesn't accept his real father? Will his Dad & him have a connection bc they're blood? I'm a mess n don't want to hurt Braden but lately he has been asking for Dad (T) and he isn't around to see him but once a week if that. So I think my son deserves the family he never had with His REAL Mom & Dad. What should I do. (I know I have an extremely messy situation & I know I brought it all on myself by letting Tony play Daddy role when Braden was born but now I have to fix it but I don't know how to go about it) Help Ladies!!

Answer Question
 
ashnbra1

Asked by ashnbra1 at 4:08 AM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (3)
  • Do not take Tony away from him. You have no idea how long BF will be around. He should not have to loose his father because you changed relationship. If Tony wants to see him once a week that is great. Hopefully, it will continue.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 4:59 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I do not see where you consider this "sticky". First off bothe Dads are "REAL" ; REAL-Actual, True, and Genuine. So, I might suggest we do away with labeling them. To your son he is about to have 2 Dads now, whether on your part was wise or not...is neither here nor there. It is what you make of it now, that will count. When we Divorce, many times a child will inevidibly end up with 2 sets of parents and this is no difference. Try not to put YOUR ISSUES onto your 3 yr. old., they are much more excepting of our mistakes, than you and I are;) "T' should be allowed to proceed as HE feels comfortable with, do not remove 'T" from his life, in time this may happen on its very own. Hopefully ALL of you as the Adults will do whats best for your son...NOT whats best or comfortable for yourselves. Good Luck, CJ~
    ceejay1

    Answer by ceejay1 at 10:31 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • A child can never have too many people who love him and provide a healthy role model. If T is part of this child's life, continue. Bio dad is an important person but he is one of many. A three year old can understand that T is special and this dad that created him is also special. My guess is your child wil have many role models in his life. Some are temporary and some stay for a long time. Set boundaries, make sure they make good on promises made, and allow as many people to love your child that wants to - as long as they are appropriate, stable, and consistant.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:47 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN