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WHy do some women kick the father out of the kids life?

I know this girl, she is actually my husbands second cousin, she has a 1 1/2 yr old boy, she was with the father for awhile but things didn't work out so well and they broke up. Well she moved on pretty fast and met someone else and got pregnant, now she is telling the father that he needs to get out of the kids life because the new guy can give thier kid so much more and hasn't let him see him for probally 5 months now. I just think its so wrong because the father is not a bad guy and if he is willing to be there then why would someone do that to your child?

 
jenn4443

Asked by jenn4443 at 5:40 AM on Feb. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 23 (18,409 Credits)
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Answers (7)
  • There are some women who like to erase what happens in thier life. They have a child and then when they don't want the father there anymore, they try to remove the man from thier life, they pretend their new husband is the only father, and when the father fights to be in the child's life, then they spin the story as a "poor me" as in "poor me I have to put up with a _______________ baby-daddy".

    What these women don't understand is they're hurting thier child. Not the father, not the mother, but the child.
    ToraMay

    Answer by ToraMay at 6:47 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • If you haven't lived in the situation of having to kick the father out of a child's life, it is next to impossible to understand. Just because you "see" a good guy doesn't mean he is. What people portray on the outside isn't what is necessarily on the inside. It is possible that new guy is a better guy then the biological dad, and he is an actual daddy figure. It's sad though when everyone can't get a long if you are in the situation that the dad is a good man and is taking care of his child.

    There are mothers out there who will keep their children completely away from their dad based on the relationship they had. Unfortunately, sometimes a good dad does get kept out of their child's life, because the mother perceives a problem when there is none. Don't be in such of a rush to judge...you have to walk a mile in their shoes.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 6:14 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I can say this because I've been there. NOBODY knows what goes on behind the closed doors of someone else's home.
    My first husband was chronically and terminally ill. Everyone thought we had the perfect marriage, because that's what I let them believe. The truth of the matter was that he became very depressed and refused to get treatment for it. Through that depression, he was very easily agitated and began taking it out on the children. Because I was the sole bread winner, I was working 12 hours a day, so I didn't know what was really going on for some time. I would find holes in walls, etc., and I'd seen him lose his temper with our then 4 year old once and warned him that it was NOT acceptable and encouraged him to get some help for his depression and anger management. He refused. Not long after, I discovered that he had put our 5 year old's head through the wall in a fit of anger. I kicked him out the next day.
    5150mama

    Answer by 5150mama at 6:02 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Only 2 reason I can think of, 1 the mother is a self centered, vindictive witch who is using the child and 2 the mother believes that it's best for her child not to be around the father.
    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 6:21 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • It makes you wonder why the two of them choose to have a child in the first place, doesn't it?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:40 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • The Mother is being selfish, because the rest of her family doesn't understand why she is doing this to the Dad. Some say she is just young and since she has a new guy that she just thinks the Dad needs to move on. She hasn't been the best Mom anyway, been in and out of jail for shoplifting and she stole credit card numbers when she was working at a resturant and she does alot of drugs and that is obvious from some of her FB pictures. She beat the crap out of the Dad when they were together. but i guess you can be right too that we don't know everything.
    jenn4443

    Comment by jenn4443 (original poster) at 6:26 AM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Sometimes it's necessary, sometimes it isn't. Even in the cases of violent fathers though, it's possible to use supervised visitation, so no in most situations I don't get it. However it is not up to you to judge this mother, she is just trying to give her child the best life possible and I'm sure you can understand that.
    leah_rai

    Answer by leah_rai at 7:20 AM on Feb. 21, 2011