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Why would anyone call a SAHM lazy? or say that a working mom should be home raising her kids?

I don't agree with these views at all. I'm a SAHM and a first time mom. I don't understand, why people feel this way towards both parties. Sometimes it's SAHM's and WM's going at it with each other on this subject. Why would someone feel this way? I don't know, maybe some people have had some experiences, or have seen some things.

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Asked by ButlersBabe19 at 12:06 AM on Nov. 19, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (8)
  • It seems more often than not, its one vs the other. Women seem to have this need to compete with each other, and rather than support, rip into the other for their choices. I don't know if its from doubt about doing the right thing for themselves, or a way to justify that they've made the best choice and anyone who disagrees has something wrong in THEIR lives.

    Answer by Ginger0104 at 12:11 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I think yuo just cant judge until you have walked in the others shoes. Being a SAHM is not an easy job at all. You are basically at work 24/7 you never get a break where if you went to work you would get a little break. HOWEVER working moms having it rough too. They might miss out on major baby milestones and STILL have housework and childcare to do after returning home from an 8+ hour day. Lets face it, being a MOM is rough period and as moms we need to support one another and use a little empathy. You dont know why one mom is working and why another isnt. As well as the idea that to judge one woman makes you deserving of the same harsh judgement. Lets just play nice ladies

    Answer by humaniterian87 at 12:18 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • Men show their competitiveness through physicality. Women show their competition through words and verbal abuse. This is observed from as early on as preschool when little girls say that familiar refrain- well fine then you aren't invited to my birthday party. Women are trying to do the best they can to one up one another- to seem the best in what they do. So moms on the clock act hateful towards stay at home moms, and stay at home moms act hateful towards moms on the clock. (Not all moms are hateful, just mentioning the ones you are talking about) What we need to do is come together and support one another for our various strengths and encourage each other in whatever we are able to do. Stay at home, on the clock- we should share in the happiness of belonging to motherhood and support our other sisters. Unfortunately this is not so now.

    Answer by lovetoteachec at 2:02 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • sadly there are men that think it's still 1949 and women in this age that feel they are the superior parent so no matter what you do, you will be a bad parent. i've beenc alled a bad parent because i work. oh well. my family is wellt aken care. i have alot of respect for SAHM becuase that's just as hard. i can't do it because i move around too much. sadly no one can just live by the "to each it's own" policy anymore

    Answer by ssnelson26 at 2:35 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I am a WM and I want to give all the SAHM serious props. I couldn't wait to go back to work after I had my baby. Not because I didn't want to be home with her but because everyone thought just cause I was home they could drop by whenever and ask me to just pack her up whenever and come see them. Also my DH figured since I was home all the time he didn't have to help with anything around the house. Now that I am back at work people call before they stop by and my husband helps alot more. It is rough work being a SAHM!

    Answer by jc4duckie at 3:04 AM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I agree with Ginger. I think women who fight about this are trying to justify their own decision. I can see feeling guilt over either decision, and many women don't have the choice. I am a SAHM and I sometimes feel guilty that I WISH I was working. I love taking care of my daughter but it can get very tiring! I also know that if I worked I would have all kinds of new stress to deal with. Like it was said before, we are all moms and it is hard no matter what!

    Answer by AliMom714 at 12:09 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • I honestly believe that every household should have at least one stay at home parent. It just turns out that generally it is the mother who stays home. Why do I feel this way?...because it is better for the kids. It has been proven with certain studies (although there will always be a study finding just the opposite) that children of a stay at home parent are better off emotionally and psychologically than their daycare counterparts. Therefore, I believe every household should have at least 1 parent at home with the kids. However, I realize this isn't always possible and I do not rag on working parents for working.

    Answer by purpleducky at 1:25 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

  • We have no choice but to work and my children stay with my sister who loves them as her own...I am positive they are no less well off than a child with one SAH parent. I am not married to my job and when I have a day off I spend every minute with them! They love my sister and we are blessed to have her help us. Their is enough guilt in life without letting the rantings of some bitchy woman with nothing better to do than try and make you feel bad about yourself get to you.

    Answer by salexander at 3:28 PM on Nov. 19, 2008

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