My husband kept our relationship secret from his family for 2 years.
He told them about me after our marriage. He was a bachelor all his life,
i.e. he's 55, and devoted ALL his love and affection to his family, especially
mother and niece.
His house was full of objects, dozens of cards and HUNDREDS of pictures of his family,
esp. his mother and niece. The walls of his house have sketches from his niece, with notes like "Sharon's room", "Sharon's house", "Sharon's bed", etc.
The ornaments in his house have sticker notes (underneath), with his mom's notes and signature: "From Mom to X, for you to iron your clothes". "From Mom, for your laundry", "For your breakfast, from Mom".
I liked the fact that he's a family man, and was hoping to become a part of his loving family. However, his family did not welcome me: because of me he stopped visiting them 4 states away every other weekend, and stopped devoting ALL his free time and resources for their wellbeing.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF HE'D REFUSE TO PLACE YOUR PICTURE (JUST ONE !!!) IN HIS HOUSE, A PLACE WHERE THE WALLS ARE FULL OF HIS FAMILY PICTURES IN LARGE, POSTER SIZE ?
He didn't want us to have KIDS, cause ....
"I LOVE MY NIECE SO MUCH, I THOUGHT I'M TOO OLD TO HAVE KIDS AND SHE WAS MY KID".
As a newlywed, his neighbours would tell me: "Thank God, now he's gonna have a LIFE !" "He adores his niece: He'd do anything for her, he admires her as if she's God."
And I know, he'd take her to trips and entertainment places. He talks to her on the phone with such admiration for her appearance and teenage growth, and it's ok,
BUT . . . I wish he could also admire ME this way.
* * *
I don't mind him loving his family, but as time goes by, I get his practical side
"I'm a practical person", but his family gets his heart. Mention his mom's or siblings' or niece's names, and you'll see tears and ultimate affection in his eyes.
Our love was strong and passionate, but I can't be happy as a newlywed, cause I see he does not treat me like he treats THEM.
IF I GET PREGNANT, WILL HE LOVE HIS OWN CHILD AS MUCH AS HE LOVES HIS NIECE?
His brother (father of his niece), leaves his wife EVERY WEEKEND: He takes his daughter and they go to grandmom, two states away ! His wife's pictures or presence is very rare: her face is in only one out of the dozens / hundreds of pictures in our house.
I can't find a solution, please, HELP !
Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by gemgem at 11:46 AM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by jamesonjustines at 11:46 AM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by misses_nick at 11:46 AM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by ItsMe89 at 11:59 AM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by chgomom at 12:02 PM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:34 PM on Feb. 21, 2011
Answer by pioneergirl10 at 1:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2011