Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Is it a sin?

My boyfriend and I are engaged and we've confessed our love and commitment to each other to God and we consider ourselves married. So my boyfriend says its okay for us to have sex while my father keeps telling me how we cannot. Opinions?


Asked by ibelayni at 12:02 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 8 (265 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • Okay. Let me see if I've got this. You have a child by this guy. You're engaged so the baby hasn't driven him away yet. Isn't asking you to remain celibate until the wedding (sometime in some distant unknown future) a little like closing the barn door after the herd has already stampeded out?? Dad should read the bible a little closer. No churches. No preachers. No paper contracts. Men like Abraham and Moses and others "took" wives, meaning the minute they consumated, the union was a done deal. If it was good enough for Adam, well....

    Answer by witchqueen at 9:18 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Realistically, this is something for you and your boyfriend to work out. If you have pledged to remain pure until marriage even though you are not a virgin and this is important to you, why not just go to city hall? 'Getting married' needn't be expensive... it's all the wedding stuff that costs a lot of money. If the piece of paper is important to you, why not get it?

    Just another thought... you have a child yourself. You are an adult and a mom. Why is your dad talking to you about your sex life? It sounds like you and your boyfriend need to talk and you and your dad need to set some boundaries.

    Answer by Freela at 3:00 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You're asking if it's a sin. That means you believe in the Bible? The Bible tells you to wait. Fornication is a sin. That means having sex without being married.

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:19 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I am with Kimimale. If you believe the Bible then yes it is a sin. You may have that commitment but also as Christians we are to abstain from the "appearance of evil". Someone looking at your relationship will not see two people deeply committed to each other, especially if they know you are Christians. They will see Christians who supposedly are to be different behaving just like everyone else.

    Answer by JamieLK at 12:26 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • How much longer until the wedding? If you have made it this long why not just wait?

    Answer by ria7 at 12:03 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Oh good grief. Why didn't you put the fact that you already have a baby together in your posted question?

    Answer by popzaroo at 2:50 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Ok goodness, you already HAVE a baby together and NOW you want to stop having sex? You have a child and yet you are taking advice about sex from a parent. Look plain and simple if you WANT to have sex then do it, if NOT then don't. Good GRACIOUS you could have said something in your OP about having a baby together already. You have already had sex together and now you are feeling guilty. Go see a therapist and sort out those guilty feelings.

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:08 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You don't need a lot of money to get married, it's a wedding that costs too much, but you don't neeed a wedding to get married. If you guys want to get married, then go to the courthouse, you can always have a wedding at a latter date.


    Answer by .CharleneS. at 6:37 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I'm sure your bf would say it's ok! I'd ask bf if he would marry you if you had been engaged to someone else before him and had sex with that guy as well. Sin or no sin, if he respects you and your family (Father has said no) he'll wait.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:05 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • You have a baby. You are not a virgin. You've had sex. Whats the issue?

    You can't undue what you've already done.

    Besides the fact that it is but ONE of a million sins people supposedly commit on a daily basis anyway.

    Answer by sahmamax2 at 5:15 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

Next question in Religion & Beliefs
How do you pray?

Next question overall (Health)
Tylenol Recall