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My son went "missing"! My husband thinks it is all my fault!

On Saturday I had some errands to run, got up at 7:30, left a note and went on about my stuff. My husband called me at 10:00 a.m. He asked if our son was with me, I said umm no, I woke you up, and left a note, he was still sleeping when I left. He screamed into the phone, he is not here! Our 6 year old decided that I must be at the store, and walked a mile and a half to the store, when he got there he asked them to call me, I was in a panic! I am so thankful he is okay, he said that several people had stopped to ask him for a ride, but he knew that he shouldn't. I feel awful, but my husband doesn't remember me telling him I was going,, I had a long talk with DS--it actually scared him to death, but my husband is still not speaking to me.. What do you think?

 
kimigogo

Asked by kimigogo at 12:52 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in Relationships

Level 37 (91,454 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • next time poor water on your husband so that his butt gets woke up for sure
    LANDENSMOMMYlmk

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 6:44 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I t hink your husband had a combo of guilt, shock and just being scared to death. Its not right but he just may need time. Tell him you understand why hes upset but you need his support as you feel terrible enough yourself as it is.
    jamesonjustines

    Answer by jamesonjustines at 12:55 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I think maybe your husband is more angry at himself than anything and doesn't want to admit it. You are not at fault here. He will get over it, but maybe you should try to sit him down and have a talk with him? I mean, what else could you have done besides wake him up to tell him and leave a note? Sounds like you did what you were supposed to do. Sometimes these things just happen, despite our efforts. Sorry you got such a scare, but maybe your DS got scared enough that he won't try that again! GL, Mama!
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 12:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • My hubby is the same way. I have to make sure he is up and out of the bed before I can tell him anything. I don't think it is your fault. I actually think that at 6 years old your son is old enough to know better then to leave the house. I think your son needs some talking to.
    usdragonflies

    Answer by usdragonflies at 12:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I think both of you could be too blame -- You because perhaps he wasnt fully awake and realized you had left him in charge of your son and HE because you DID tell him you were leaving and he prolly mumbled "ok" and then went back to sleep.
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 12:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • who cares who is at fault. this is not a blame game and u guys must have been scared to death. I am just glad he is ok. just give ur hubby time to calm down he thought someone took his little boy and he holds a lot of guilt. once he calms down things will change. just be thankful he is ok and in ur arms.
    brooklyndm

    Answer by brooklyndm at 5:03 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • That wasn't YOUR fault,it was his
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 12:54 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Its not your fault. Unfortunate things happen with kids all the time and we should take them as learning lessons. Next time you can make sure hubby is awake and alert when you say you are leaving and tell him DS is in his bed sleeping or bring DS into the bedroom and let DS know that you are leaving and will be back and he's staying with daddy.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 12:56 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Ask your husband what he would like you to do? What more does he need besides being woken up and told that he is in charge of the children?

    Seriously, if he needs you to actually make sure he is out of bed and showered, then you need to know that. If he cannot remember what you tell him unless he has had had his coffee, it should be out there in the open.

    Not your fault.

    By the way, my husband actually does needs to be up, clothed, and coffee'd before I can know for sure he is able to watch the children. SO, I totally get you . . . .
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 12:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Not many people admit something is their fault. It's a lot easier to blame someone else. He's probably feeling guilty, just won't admit it. Discuss how to prevent this happening in the future. Tell him the discussion needs to include your son. He needs to know what to do if he wakes and finds no one home.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:58 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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