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3 Bumps

Being your child freind?

My best friend is like a sister to me. We are each children godmother. I recently invited my goddaugter to the movies. So, I left a message with bff telling her that I am going to take her. When we finally spoke she told me that my goddaughter has plans. I was upset and her cuz it was with my goddaughter's friend. Her mother(my bff) is telling me that she doesn't want to hang around her godmother cuz she is 14 years old. She said that it's not like she is 8 years old. I was pissed at my friend cuz what kind of the mother would allow her daughter to disrespect her godmother. She wants to be a friend way too much. Just want to know if I am overreating over this? But, I can't help the way I feel.

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DivaMom1118

Asked by DivaMom1118 at 1:42 PM on Feb. 21, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Way overreacting! The mother is right, she is 14 and hanging out with her mother's best friend (Godmother or not) is NOT what a 14 year old wants to be doing. And your friend telling you this is NOT disrespectful. Our job as adults is not to be friends with our children or our friends' children. It is to be good examples to the children, to show them what a good friendship is, to show them what a healthy relationship is, to teach, guide, aid.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 1:49 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I agree with the first reply
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:57 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Thanks for your response. I am not trying to be goddaughter friend. I think her mother allows her to do whatever she wants. I felt that she always with this friend almost every day. He mother makes a joke that she needs to claim her in taxes cuz she always at their house. I think one day out the weekend wasn't going to hurt. She has a week off from school which she is going to be with this friend. Her mother should of back me up as godtmother and said that you going to be with your godmother for one afternoon then you could be your friend for the rest of the week.
    DivaMom1118

    Comment by DivaMom1118 (original poster) at 2:04 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • It is all about her age. 14 year-olds usually don't want to be seen hanging out with parents, God-parents, or anyone else that might be considered "uncool". And, most of us are clearly uncool to middle-schoolers because we are too old. That's okay. It is just a stage. Expect that to be the case until they become an adult, and don't let it hurt your feelings too much.
    You will become WAY cool again when she is married and has babies.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 2:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I still stand behind my answer, first off - this isn't your daughter, this is your friend's daughter and she is raising her as she sees fit. And another thing - there is absolutely nothing wrong with a 14 year old having a good friend that she spends time with. And honestly, the roll of a Godmother in most families is to be there if something happens to the parents of the child. The mother doesn't have to FORCE her daughter to spend time with an adult that isn't related to her. I personally find it very off putting that you are wanting your friend to force her daughter to spend time with you. Not normal, not natural and definitely not something that a 14 year old wants to do.

    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 2:47 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • I take being a godmother very seriously. I am not figure head. I am not a godmother that is just there for the birthdays and the holidays. I always been like that, so she is 14 years old I have to change. I understand that my god daughter wants to be with her friend. When I spend time with the both of them, they remind me of my bff(her mother) and I. I don't see why she couldn't do both. I don't think it's not natural to spend time with a child that you seen from birth and now a teenager. She is like my child. I just didn't have to go through the labor pains. Her mother is my child's godmother. We had plans to hang out the day of the Superbowl. I had too much laundry to do, so I canceled. She calls me to tell me that she is taking my child at this such time. What is the difference, just cuz my child is younger.
    DivaMom1118

    Comment by DivaMom1118 (original poster) at 2:59 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Yes, you are overreacting. Allowing a teenager to chose their plans is not being the teens friend. The teen is NOT disrespecting you by having other plans, she is a teenager and would rather spend time with her friends, not an adult and that is normal and appropriate. I would NEVER force my child to spend time with anyone that he doesn't want to...relative, godparent or otherwise. You cannot expect your friend to force the teen to do what you want, it's not your place to parent the friends child.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 4:36 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • Most kids get to an age they don't want to hang or be with adults, period. Nothing against you but that's the fact of being at a certain age. Heck most times they don't even want to be around their own parents. Yes it hurts, but it's her DD and it's what she wants, so you have to just be glad for anytime you get to spend w/her, and respect the Mothers decision. Don't let a natural thing come between you and your BF. It's certainly NOT personal, it's life as well as that certain age when to be with ADULTS is square.
    MyAngel003

    Answer by MyAngel003 at 4:42 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

  • The problem that my bff and I have is that when comes to parenting we do things differently. I am aware of that but I would look at her point of view before making a decision. We passed the change in our life I should be able to tell her something or disagree on how is raising my godchild.
    DivaMom1118

    Comment by DivaMom1118 (original poster) at 6:10 PM on Feb. 21, 2011

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